Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Two days in a row!! wow

Well, two days in a row of exercising! That's gotta be a record LOL

Yesterday I hopped on the elliptical. Today, I got out the jogging stroller I bought (to walk with the baby & get some exercise) and decided to go for a walk. It is kind of hot & muggy here, so I thought I will walk at the mall...it is air conditioned & indoors, right? WRONG! It was SO hot in there! It was cooler outside. But, we did a couple laps and then I got some yummy bourbon chicken & stir-fry veggies for lunch (no rice, no noodles). It all went pretty well.

Have to be in court all day tomorrow...so, not much time for exercise. Foster parent stuff, ugh. But it will actually be a whole day away from the kids for me. So, yay (kind of).

That's all for now!
Two

*Weigh-In*

Since June 7, 2010 I have gone form 270# to 238.5 for a loss of 31.5#!

I tell you, people still don't notice. My clothes fit a little looser & I have eliminated some of the really large things but my wardrobe hasn't changed that much. :(

I am hoping I will really start to see a difference when I get to where I have lost 40 or even 50#...but will be SO happy to get back to "one-derland"!

Best,
Two

Monday, August 16, 2010

Give Away at Thunder Thigh Bride!

Hello all...here is a great giveaway at ThunderThighBride's Blog:

http://thunder-thigh-bride.blogspot.com/

Do you need some new dinnerware for the upcoming holidays? Or maybe you've been thinking about some new workout gear, like this awesome weighted hula hoop. What about that new blender you've been promising yourself for smoothies (or margartias)?


CSN Stores has been kind enough to provide us with a $40 gift certificate to any one of their 200+ stores! As an added bonus they offer free shipping on a bunch of their products!

Be sure and visit her blog to enter!

Back in the saddle, again...

So, I figured out that I have kind of maxed out the weight I am going to lose from dieting alone and it is time to start working out again. I have been hesitant because I have been in a lot of pain...but, the only way I am going to get out of so me of the pain is to lose the weight. Such irony! So, today I had a couple hours because the baby had a visit with her mom, so I came home and jumped on the elliptical machine. I could only manage 11 1/2 minutes, but it is better than nothing! And I sure worked up a sweat & got my heart beating. So, that is good.

I have been struggling lately with eating. So tired & bored of the LC food I was eating...I have been slipping and eating some higher carb stuff. But, I have been paying for it too. Last week my blood sugar shot up to the 240s! I just can't be doing that. I really want to avoid going on insulin as long as possible...if not forever! So, one of the best ways to keep BS down is...you got it, exercise!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

yeah! "new" pants!

So, a quick post this morning to say that I tried on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to fit into in over a year. Last week, they didn't fit....but today, they do!!!! Hooray!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

How do I feel about me?? I am too tired to tell you!

Haven't had much time to blog lately. Been working WAY too many hours...but it is necessary. Financially, we are tight, to say the least. We are in serious danger of losing our home. So, like most people who own their own business, the more I work, the better the business does. It is tough, while the boys are at summer camp, I am home with the baby (now a toddler) and have no $ for day care. So, I have to get whatever I can done in-between taking care of her. Sometimes I work at night as well, but I am so exhausted by then, I often don't get much done.

Doing OK on food. However, I am getting quite bored of high-protein stuff! So, a lot of times, I just don't eat. Sometimes I exist on sunflower seeds and SF jello pudding cups. Seriously. I have started having oatmeal for breakfast. I LOVE oatmeal, so that has been nice. I haven't noticed too much of a difference in my blood sugar or on the scale, so I guess I can get away with it for a while. Taking a break from the Atkins bars as well. There are only a few I like, and I am also bored with those.

Am happy to eat hamburgers (with fixins) without the bun, with a knife & fork. And, 3 whopper Jrs at Burger King (no bun) is cheaper and sometimes more satisfying that my previous fave: Low-carb $6 burger at Carls Jr.
My confession as of late is that I am finding that I am seriously resentful of people. Especially people who are thin and have that young look in their eyes; their shiny hair. I tell you, middle-age just sucks! Being fat on top of it makes you like a being from another planet. My self-esteem has taken a tremendous hit in the past few years, probably the past 7-10 years, but I am really noticing it lately. And, I am going to have to do something about it! Not sure what, but I need to do something. Walking around hating everyone who is what I am not is NOT the answer!

I really feel the need to do some exercise. Right now, I can only manage floor stuff (like stretches, crunches, etc). My foot has been hurting so badly that I can hardly stand it. I need to go to the Dr (actually, the podiatrist) but just thinking about that, the copay, the time away, getting a sitter, and the like, has turned me off of it. But, I need to get it done. Also, I am kind of afraid of what they will say. My Achilles has been messed up for some time. I know I have achilles tendonitis (already diagnosed), but am also pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis and I am afraid I now may also have heel spurs. I think I have let things go too long and will eventually need surgery. Somewhere, I am in denial about all this and think I will someday run again. Another reason to resent getting old!
OK, so when is my feeling of wisdom and experience outweigh the regret and disappointment I feel for losing my youth? I think that part of the problem is that I can't live the life of an almost 50-year-old women. I have little kids and a baby...that stuff is for YOUNG people! God, I am tired!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Logging On Helps People Lose Weight

It seems like we're all searching for that “magic bullet” to help us lose weight but here’s an idea that might really help: Logging on. Yes — to your computer.

Sitting in front of your computer is unquestionably a sedentary activity, and one many of us do way too much.

But researchers at Kaiser Permanente say when patients regularly logged on to an Internet weight loss support group, they increased their chances of staying active and managing their weight.

The small federally-funded study was part of a much larger ongoing evaluation of weight maintenance programs.

Researchers followed 348 overweight or obese individuals who had recently lost an average of 19 pounds during a weight loss program. Their goal, of course, was to maintain that weight loss.

To help them meet that goal, participants were offered an interactive web site created specifically for the study. They were asked to log on once a week, record their weight and how much they exercised, and note whether they kept a food diary, detailing what and how much they ate each day.

They were also offered a chance to participate on an interactive billboard with other study participants and pose questions to nutrition and exercise experts.

After two and a half years, researchers found that the patients who consistently used the web site — those who logged in and recorded their weight at least once a month for 24 months — maintained the greatest weight loss. They kept off an average of nine of the original 19 pounds they'd lost. Those who logged on less consistently kept off only three to five pounds.

At the end of the study, most of the original 348 participants were still logging on to the web site.

Researchers say this level of commitment is encouraging and holds promise for other web based weight maintenance programs. While the study web site is no longer available, researchers say there are a number of other weight management web sites worth checking out.

They suggest consumers look for the following important elements in any online weight loss program:

  • Sites that encourage accountability by asking users to consistently record weight, exercise and calories consumed
  • Sites that include tailored or personalized information
  • Sites with interactive features that allow users to communicate with each other and with nutrition and exercise experts
  • Sites with accurate health information

The study is published — where else but online in the Journal of Medical Internet Research.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128826343&sc=fb&cc=fp

Monday, July 26, 2010

food & worry

I am so worried about money lately, that I can not even be excited that I am finally losing weight again. I have my own business and work from home. I have been working some LONG hours...but it is really difficult to get much done right now. The baby wants SO much of my attention (she is one now, and that is just what 1-year-old's do, but it is hard to get anything done) and there is just no way I can afford to put here in even part time day care. The house is a wreck. But, hell, if I don't get the work done and the sales in, might not even be a house to clean anyway! I mean, that is how bad it is! It is hard to continue to justify buying food that is not the cheapest (we all know healthy, "diet" food cost more)...but then again, having the diabetes create a medical need to do so.

It's tough times for everyone. The economy has hit our business hard. I have finally expanded to get some more money coming in...but it is going slower than I had hoped. May have to borrow money from the mother-in-law to get the house payment in before the end of the month (before they throw us into foreclosure, seriously). It sucks! My husband has a good job (but hasn't had a raise in three years). But even the good job isn't enough to cover the expenses of special needs kids...and a mom who "stays home" to work with them. And, while we write some of that off on our taxes, that doesn't even help anymore since we have to give any refunds to the bankruptcy trustee. :-(

So, I am trying to stay focused on eating right (which is hard to do for me in times like these). For some reason, hitting that survival mode makes me want to eat bad, cheap food. But, I am trying to get through it. Our busy season is coming up. And, HOPEFULLY, I will eventually see some sort of settlement from this accident. Those will help some. Sorry, this is not a very good weight loss post. I will do better with my next post.

Best,
Two

Sunday, July 18, 2010

weight increase (due to supplement) grrr!

So, I haven't been cheating, I think the weight increase was due to a supplement I was taking (making me retain water) and now that I stopped taking it, I am going back down again. It was a frustrating situation, but hopefully it is now resolving itself.

I am getting lots of exercise lately, just living life: walking a lot with family at events, yard work, cleaning out the garage, etc. We are still joining the YMCA at the end of this month. I really do need to get more fit...and lose more weight, but I am on my way.

The biggest news is that it seems that food is no longer "my life" lately. People used to tell me to think of food as fuel, not as recreation, or a friend, or as whatever...you eat to live, not live to eat. I could never really get into that space. But I feel like I am there now (or at least getting there)! It is a wonderful feeling not to have everything in my life revolve around food. I mean food is just a way to keep my blood sugar level and get me through the day. It is amazing (and a miracle) that *I* would ever truly feel that way! Thank you Dr. Atkins!

BTW, in case you are wondering what I normally eat, here is some info on that:

For snacking, I have found that sunflower seeds are a lifesaver for me! When I can't have things like chips, fries, etc. The sunflower seeds work for me. They *are* salty, and if you have a problem with blood pressure or sodium, maybe not the best for you. But, if you can handle the sodium, they are pretty good for munching. Protein, low carbs.

So, I do get in moods where I want to cook, but most of the time I rebel! So, I do eat some fast food/premade stuff: Carl's Jr has a pretty good plan where you can get all the burgers with lettuce wraps. They are pretty good. I was NOT impressed with the KFC new sandwich with not bun...yuck! I would rather have a bunch of grilled chicken. For breakfast I will often get a couple egg mcmuffins, some sausage, throw out the english muffins and make a sandwich with the canadian bacon on the outside.

I eat a lot of baked chicken (usually grocery stores have this in their deli) as well as steak, smoked salmon (when I can afford them) cheese, cream cheese, eggs, nuts, sausage, some veggies (the ones I like: celery, cucumber, tomatoes, on rare occasion a salad). I eat an avocado most every day. Dreamfield pasta (a *true* serving size) does not seem to spike my blood sugar...I get Hunt's no sugar added sauce and load up with italian sausage! Also, I use American cheese slices (microwaved for about 38 seconds on parchment paper) as "bread" when I am really wanting a sandwich. It works pretty well....bu they are really not that good for you, in general, so I try to limit how often I zap American Cheese; it is pretty well processed.

I was just thinking the other day: what a great diet this low carb thing is...if I can lose weight and not eat all that "rabbit food" all the time, that is great! I used to live on simple carbs, really, I did. I was an addict. I have been low carb for about 5 weeks now and I no longer crave fries, bread, chips, even sugar. I think it is a miracle!

There are ways around a lot of carbs. For instance: today I went to a family gathering and all they had to eat was pizza. I ate all the toppings off & left the crust. Cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms. It worked. I also had brought some low carb yogurt with me and I always carry some nuts and beef jerky in the car (the beef jerky can be tricky...you have to check the carbs on that, and not eat too much). I also eat atkin's bars. Some people don't do well with those (spike Blood Sugar) but I seem to do fine with them. Concerning crackers, the only type I eat are Wasa Crisp Bread (only 2 per day) with some laughing cow cheese and fresh tomatoes on top (mmmmm)

as far as Breakfast: I can tolerate glucerna cereals, but, the serving size (on all cereals) is small. You really do have to pay attention to serving size. I would rather have an atkins bar some days...and maybe an atkins shake as well (though atkins stuff will spike blood sugar on some people). However, I recently bought an egg poacher for the microwave and discovered jimmy dean fully cooked sausages. I am not too big on cooking in the morning, but if I can have a couple eggs and sausage links easily, I will eat those.

On the days I do the best, my calories break down to something like: about 1800 cals, 70% from fat, 20% from protein, and 10% from carbs. That keeps me in ketosis and I will lose weight regularly when I eat this way. I have more energy, I feel better. Sometimes all the meat meat meat gets to me...but when I think about my diet and quality of life before, I just get over it and go on.

OK, that was a rambling post! Sorry...until next time,

Two

Sunday, July 11, 2010

another weekend and WHAT is with this water??!

Well, had quite a busy weekend. Up to the mountains on Saturday and took a STEEP hike to the waterfall. That was a workout in the heat. Then, today was very busy including, but not limited to, moving bunches of heavy furniture around.

I am having some problems with retaining water. Guess I need to lay off the diet sodas & drink some more water. I have been taking OTC water pills & NOTHING. Still holding about 8# of water. My legs & feet are swollen and tight. Plus, that scale isnt making me happy!

I did just read an article today about the hidden dangers of heat for diabetics. And that may be part of the problem...but I know that I also need to drink more water. blah!

Doing OK with food. Only one slip last night, but recovered quickly and without too much damage.

I am off to bed; I am exhausted! Hope you had a good weekend.

Two

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

OK, enough of that!

I can't believe how much I am feeling sorry for myself, I started to take a nap after that last post. I was lying there, thinking about all I had to get done today, about all I have accomplished, and about all I have (counting blessings type of thing) and realized I am *so* feeling sorry for myself!

Instead of napping (something I do NOT need to do!), I hit the on-demand beginning yoga program I have been working on and got a little farther in the program today. Still can't finish it and it is very hard to make my rolly-poly body get into those poses, but I went further than I did earlier this week. Now, I am typing this and drinking a glass of water. Yay for me! :D

Thus far, this is my favorite pose. I can feel the vertebrae in my spine popping & relaxing when I do this pose (forward fold):



So, enough blogging today...got lots of stuff to do. The baby won't stay asleep for much longer!

Best,
Two

kind of mad today

Ok, I am kind of pissed today. First off, I had a follow up exam with the chiropractor and I have to go for at least 6 more weeks. Ugh!

Second, I have lost now, a total of 24# in one month. Do you think that ANYONE has said to me "wow, you have lost weight" - Nope, not a one! Not even my husband. Sad, mad, hurt!

I am so damn fat that 24# is just a drop in the big, huge, bucket that is me! :(

I just feel so depressed today. Someone say something to make me feel better :)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

good weekend

Happy to report that I stayed on track all weekend! I hope you all had a great weekend too! I found some great store brand carb buster yogurt, and found out that I was doing good to eat those avocados last week (even though they have carbs) because they are good for one's blood sugar!

I started taking a supplement called ALA to help stablize blood sugar and help turn glucose into energy. I will post how it goes. Here is a blurb on it from the website linked above:

"Perhaps the most significant function of ALA is its important role in energy production from carbohydrates, participating in the multi-enzyme process on many levels. ALA stimulates insulin activity, reduces insulin resistance, and enhances glucose burning in obese laboratory animals. Humans with diabetes show a ~50% increase in glucose consumption. This also has implications for athletes and the overweight. Muscle activity requires efficient sugar metabolism. Similar improvements in sugar disposal occurred in brain tissue."


I also found a cool little app for my phone that lets me track my food, blood sugars, and the like. I can email the info to myself, so I will have to come up with some great way to analyze the statistics of it all :)

This week I need to work on DRINKING MORE WATER!!!

Best,
Two

Saturday, July 3, 2010

So Close!

Just a quick post to say that my weigh-in this morning was 251!!!! Wow! Almost at 250!

I started doing a little yoga at home. Hard, but good. Have been doing a lot of walking (just been working out that way, not really planning it).

Everybody have a great holiday!

Two

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Stall!

Well, my weight loss has stalled in the past 4 or 5 days. I seem to be eating fine. I am having a lot of stress, and probably having more diet sodas than I should (that seems to slow down WL in some). So, I need to curb that a bit. I just go through periods where, if I drink one more glass of water, I shall just puke! I love vitamin water, but even the "zero" stuff has a total of 8-10 carbs a bottle! Guess I should pull out some of that Crystal Light! I am really going to try to get below 250 before the end of July.

Getting the money together to join the Y. I can't wait, but the money is just not there right now for the yearly fee. I am looking forward to it and working hard every day (at my home business) and hope to see some $$$ coming in soon. The economy has just tanked our sales for the last 9 mos or so. We have really struggled financially. "Dieting" is not cheap!

The good news is that I have not had a bowl of cereal (other than the occasional Glucerna) in a MONTH! That is so HUGE for me. It is one of my binges and compulsive eating behaviors. I haven't had white flour in quite a while too. No candy (other than a couple pieces of sugar free once in a while). It is like everything has changed. I guess having a sister with serious diabetes complications while I was growing up made my diagnosis all the more serious. Too bad I could not have mustered this attitude before the diagnosis, but, it takes what it takes I guess.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Back in the saddle...

Well, it has been a long time since I posted. Lots of things have happened.

I had the accident and the recovery (mostly done) but it took a lot out of me. I also gained weight (went up to 270!). Then, about a month ago I found out I have PreDiabetes. So, now I am on a low-carb diet (kind of a modified Atkins) since it is the only thing that works on my blood sugar (which I take 5-7 times per day). I have been doing pretty good and lost 15.5 pounds in the last month. I am a pound away from my graph being correct. I think I will just leave it as it is... I don't know, maybe I will change it later.

A lot of things have cleared up for me with this new way of eating. Carbs and sugar have been a real drug for me for some time. I feel like I have finally stopped "drinking the koolaid" of the ridiculous food pyramid! I have more energy than I have had in years, my head is clear, my mood still goes up and down but I am working on that. We are getting the money together to pay the yearly fee at the YMCA and will join soon. My sons want to do martial arts really badly and I want the child care they provide so I can take the baby there while I work out!!!

The weight is just kind of melting off right now, but I know if I don't start working out I will 1) slow down on weight loss soon, and 2) have just a bunch of flabby skin without building any muscle underneath it to compensate for it a little.

Not doing a food log. I may post my daily carbs though. Stay tuned...if any of you are still with me :)

Two

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

feeling a little better

Well, I stopped taking a certain medication and lost about 4# already this week! I am eating better and keeping VERY busy. Trying to keep my hands busy and eat only when I am hungry. So far so good. No specific diet, just trying to eat healthy and mindfully.

Monday, May 10, 2010

well...this is a vent and a half!

Disclaimer:
In case you haven't read my "about me" or my first few blog posts, this is a warning. I swear. If the "F-bomb" of the "S-bomb" or whatever bomb offends you, you probably should not read this. It is raw, real life :/


OK, for a while I let the accident get me down. I was injured pretty badly and in a lot of pain. I got mixed message from practitioners: don't lift/go back to normal; don't exercise/"oh, yes, by all means exercise," etc etc. So, being a person who would rather get dental work done (which I HATE) than exercise, I chose to not.

However, lately I have been feeling pretty good. Have energy. My back is doing great (I LOVE my chiropractor!) and I have been doing tons of yard work and gardening. We are setting up our yard (which has been neglected for years) and putting in our vegetable garden, something I haven't been able to get together for about 5 years or so.

HOWEVER, I have not lost any weight! Regardless of the level of exercise, giving up diet cokes totally for 8 weeks now (thank you very much), drinking TONS of water, getting enough sleep, etc etc. Still F-A-T!

My daughter got married last week. I didn't *feel* like the fattest person in the room. I guess I am in denial of my own size. But I was the HUGEST by a longshot! I looked like a C-O-W compared to everyone else of even "normal" size. My daughter is very thin, so I looked even bigger next to her.

My boobs are freaking huge! I finally got new bras that fit and support, but they are 42DDD! Holy shit! My shirts are still 3x-4x. Even where I live, where there are lots of fat people, I am F-A-T! Fatter than most.

Now, I know that there are people who are 400, 500, even 600 pounds. But hell, 265 (which is what I am now) is considered just fucking fat by most people!

And, losing weight? dieting? working out? Well, IT JUST SUCKS!!! I HATE IT! hate it, hate it, hate it! And, now I am MAD. I used to diet and work out so I looked *good*...sexy, pretty, hot, etc. Now, I am old with skin stretched out and blood vessels broken. I now need to diet & work out so I am not the biggest FREAK in the room. That is just not good motivation! I will never be hot and sexy again without at least 100K in plastic surgery and skin treatments (and even then? who knows?).

So, I am pissed that I have to do this...but I have to. Even if I kick and scream the whole way.

So, I guess I am back...if I even have any followers any more. It doesn't matter either way. I am doing it for me. For what's left of "me."

Two

Friday, February 19, 2010

Slow loss but still losing....

So, since the accident, I have not been able to workout. And, apparently, I can only handle one thing at a time, because with all the running around to doctors, etc, I have not done one food log. I am trying to keep eating similar to before, but know I am not staying under 1800 calories. However, in the last two weeks I did lose a pound. That is pretty good for not working out (and not drinking water like I should).

Of course the baby has picked this time to start standing and crawling....but it is adorable! :) The kids are all keeping me busy. I am trying not to lift or overdo things - which is pretty hard with the life I have been living. Just because I am injured in the accident doesn't mean all these things don't need to get done! Totally slacked off on housework (something I couldn't afford to do with the shape of the house before!). Also, due to the drowsiness from pain meds, I have slept or laid down when tired rather than continuing to go go go. And, I have found I eat less when I do that. I know that I eat when I am tired & run-down. Quick energy foods (carbs, sugar, etc). But, if I just rest (like my body is telling me to) then I don't eat as much....though that is often easier said than done!

My car is STILL not fixed. Dealing with insurance companies, attorneys, and all sorts of crap. I am starting to get over the resentment of the accident and getting to a place of acceptance. I am in pain less with treatment, but still in pain. Have a great chiropractor and massage therapist. My husband has been great & does all he can, but he also works about 60 hours a week and isn't home a lot (though he did take a week off work right afterward to help me and drive me around).

So, I need to start posting here more, again. I got my laptop back online and have it set up in the living room....so I have no excuse now!!

Best,
Two

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Day 31...still here

I am still here, I am just not posting every day. Still trying to recover. I think I am eating pretty well, but could be better. I am not logging food every day, which makes me nervous, but it is something I just can't do right now. Hitting the chiropractor & massage therapist (not as fun as it sounds) three times a week. Finally driving again. Hope to be getting better soon, though I have been warned it can take some time.

Best,
Two

Sunday, February 7, 2010

day 28 - Time to start blogging again!!

My day (Sunday 2/7/10) -
OK, time for me to sit and try to write some. I still have lots of pain & stiffness. It is going to be a long road to recovery. However, I need to get blogging again!


I wanna new bar....
Ok, I have been looking for a decent bar that isn't too high in calories, but will also fill me up at the 10:00 snack time. So, I found something that I used to eat a lot in college: Heart Thrive bars. They are SUPER healthy and only 161 calories a serving, over 6 grams of protein, 257 mg of calcium, whole grain, nonGMO, vegan, and they are wheat & dairy free.

INGREDIENTS

OATS, UNSULFURED APRICOTS, BROWN RICE SYRUP, BROWN RICE FLOUR, SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, SOY FLOUR, INULIN (CHICORY ROOT EXTRACT), RICE BRAN, NATURAL FRUIT JUICE, DRIED PLUMS, DRIED APPLES, DRIED PEARS, ORANGE PEEL, CALCIUM CITRATE, ALMOND EXTRACT.

Apricot is my favorite but there area lots of flavors. You thought be able to find them at a health food store near you.


Other than that, I have been surviving. Being in constant pain for 5 days is something I am sort of used to with fibromyalgia. But this back/neck pain is quite icky! Dealing with the insurance companies, trying to get my car fixed, not run out of pain pills, going to Dr after Dr, and still trying to keep my life going....well, that is a challenge to say the least!

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-heart thrive bar (161)
-lean cuisine (330)
-RK treat (90)
-bar (100)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)


total diet cokes today: 4!
Calories:...1871

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
None until OK'ed by Dr :-(

Water:
not much. Ok, I justify this by saying it is hard for me to move, so getting up every 10 minutes to pee is not acceptable. Can you buy that one?

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I have had my share of health problems, but damn! I really should have appreciated the ability to do things for myself, drive myself, pick things up, etc etc when I could. I feel so helpless now. The pain really sucks too.

Until tomorrow,
Two

Saturday, February 6, 2010

day 27

I haven't posted anything in the past couple days. I am resting & recuperating. My back was really messed up in the accident. Luckily, I found a good chiropractor. They also think I had a mild concussion (brain slosh!) when my head was whipping around. So, between all that and the pain pills, I have been pretty out of it. Eating is not perfect, but not bad. No binges.

It was my daughters 16th Bday the other day & we had cake (I only have ONE slice!). She was supposed to take the cake with her when she went to her friends this weekend, but she did not. Well, I started to look at it longingly....finally I just sealed it up and through it in the freezer & buried it! I was proud of myself. White cake is my weakness!

Can't sit & type too long, but I will try to make sure and post something each day.

Best,
Two

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Day 24 - PAIN!

My day (Wednesday 2/3/10) -
Man, thank goodness for pain pills & heating pads! I wish I had some muscle relaxers. I see the Chiropractor tomorrow, so maybe that will help (or he will give me better meds!). Saw the attorney today, things are moving forward. not going to write much today. It hurts to sit @ the computer :-(

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-Sandwich (250)
-RK treat (90)
Spec K bars (100)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)


total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1760


Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
none, per Drs orders

Water:
30oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
none.


Until tomorrow,
Two

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 23 - life can change in an instant!

My day (Tuesday 2/2/10) -
Wow, things can change in an instant. This is a short post tonight since I am all doped up on vicodan and a little loopy. Today, as I was picking up the kids from school, I was stopped to turn into a parking space when someone rear-ended me going about 35mph. A teenager. The front end of her car was mostly totaled. My car, the wonderful Subaru, just got a wonky bumper. But I got whiplash. Holy cow! Spent the rest of the afternoon in urgent care with Xrays and such. Trying to figure out what to do next.

This has changed my whole week. Most appointments are canceled now, my husband took the rest of the week off (because I am not supposed to lift over 5#). I can't workout. And, apparently, I will be even more sore tomorrow than I am tonight! Oh Boy!

However, as good of an excuse as it was to just go get drive thru fast food for dinner, I did not. I ate my lean cuisine. I didnt have a salad like I normally do and had a couple more 100 calories bars than I should have, but heck, I think I did pretty well. I am still right around where I should be for calories.

Hopefully, I will be up to writing more tomorrow. But, I wanted to write and say that I will NOT use this as an excuse to overeat, go off my eating plan, etc.

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-no food journal today. But about right on with calories.
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
lots of walking in the AM

Water:
20oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
none.


Until tomorrow,
Two

Monday, February 1, 2010

Day 22- stress eating & preparing for the week to come

My day (Monday 2/1/10) -
Have a very stressful week coming up. I am trying to steel myself for it. Today is a no-school day for our district, so I have all the kids home again. Tomorrow, I have lots of errands to run & it is my only day to do it. Then, Wednesday my son goes up to Shriners Hospital to see if he needs to schedule surgery again (will be his seventh, he is 6 years old). Then, on Thursday, my husband has surgery. It is a pretty minor thing but because they have to cut through a large muscle to get where they are going, he has to go to the hospital to do it. He will then be off for the rest of the week & the following week. ugh

Friday is traveling again, as usual, down south for a visit. Tonight is a visit too but here in town. My granddaughter is in our care as a foster child as my oldest daughter (20) is very mentally ill. I am getting nervous as the date for the permanency hearing is fast approaching. I am so unsure of what the state will do with our granddaughter (give her to her mother - they removed her at birth, so she has never really"had" her to raise yet) or leave her with us so that we may adopt her (we have had her since she was a week old, she is now almost 8 mos). Another reason I am trying to lose some serious weight so I don't look like an elephant in a suit next time we go to court.

My teenage daughter is getting ready to finish her GED next week, start work, and go to community college (she is 16, but skipping high school...I can't really explain why, because I don't know, but she is being responsible about it). So, this week she is out looking for jobs. I hope it isn't as bad out there as I hear!

So, for a stress-eater like me, this is a serious test of my eating plan!!! Lots of being out of my comfort zone (and it is funny that Tyler wrote about this just today in his blog), away from home, traveling, health issues with family members, etc etc etc. I am going to have to redouble my efforts to stay on track this week.

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna "Cookie" (130)
-sandwich (300) -W bread, LC cheese, ham, tomato
-FF tapioca pudding (80)
-RK treat (90)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (210)
-orange (86)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1871

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
Well, I think I have recovered from my "work outs" this last week. It is funny, there is this post exertion fatigue (and pain!) with fibromyalgia that is kind of a self-perpetuating cycle. You don't do too much because you feel exhausted for days after, but you don't do much, so you are tired & out of shape. It is a tough cycle to break out of. You have to know just how much you can do without pushing yourself too far. I certainly cannot work out like a lot of people I read about...what is this SHRED stuff anyway??! That would put me down for a month!

However, now that I am feeling better, I have gotten a lot of work done that has been neglected in the past several days. Lots of cleaning, paperwork, work-work, etc. I know I must have burned SOME calories with that. And, I guess burning calories getting something constructive done is better than just cruisin' on the elliptic machine. I think that I will try to go for more walks. That does not tire me out as much.

Water:
50 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
When I got up this morning at 4:30 with the baby, I think I ended up eating a rice krispie treat (that is not logged with yesterdays food). I dont really remember too well. But I know I ate something. But, so far, no bowls of kiddie cereal in the middle of the night for weeks now. That is amazing!

Until tomorrow,
Two

****WEIGH-IN WEEK THREE****

Starting weight: 260
last week: 253

today: 251 (originally I reported 252, but that was @ 4:30 this am - the baby woke up WAY early) Then, I went back to bed & woke up at the normal time & weighed myself again and it was 251....so I will take that, I think!)

Result: -2#
Total loss: -9#
Total to go: 121#


YAY!


Sunday, January 31, 2010

Day 21 - new salad item, and not much else to report

My day (Sunday 1/31/10) -
Compared to yesterday, today was a piece of cake...well, no cake, but staying on track was pretty simple. Cravings were under control, so was my hunger. I found a great new salad addition: bamboo shoots! I like them anyway, and they are 10 cals for 1/2 cup!

Weigh-in is tomorrow and I am ambivalent. My water isn't what it should have been today. But, I am not making the mistake of chowing down on 100 cal popcorn the night before either (like I did last Sunday).

My post today is pretty boring. Sorry. Feel like I have bared my soul in a little in the last few. So, tomorrow will be better, I promise. Just reporting in today. Hope everyone had a good one!

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-baked chicken (450 est)
-RK treat (90)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)


total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1860

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
I was a SLUG today!

Water:
about 40 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
nothing really.

Until tomorrow,
Two

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Day 20 ~ I Gotta Feelin' (rough day)

My day (Saturday 1/30/10) -
Well, I lost the fight with the scale this morning. Good news is, I am back down to 253. Maybe if I push the water & workouts, I can get down to 250 monday's weigh-in. Which would be cool! 10# is 3 weeks!?

I have been noticing that I eat about the same thing every day. The only changes, really, are the different lean cuisines (or smart ones) I eat. I don't know. Right now it's working for me. But, I am hoping to branch out soon and start cooking some LF/LC meals. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Right now I am just taking a break from full-on cooking for a little while. Especially with that impersonation of Julia Child I did over the holidays!

Later: It has been a really tough day for me. Today was one of the days my husband had to work and I was home with all the kids, all day. I wasn't really hungry, but I wanted to just eat & eat! I just felt this feeling of restlessness & was uncomfortable...only word that describes it. Not sure what that is about. I used to binge a lot on these days. I am not sure what it is about them that gets to me. The kids were not terribly difficult today.

I found a great paragraph last night in a book I am reading that pretty much hits the nail on the head. The book is called The Fattest Woman in Ireland by Patricia Mees Armstrong. If you would like to read more about the history of this book or about its author (it is quite an interesting story!) you can check out this blog or the website for the book. The author just recently passed away from breast cancer. Below is the paragraph. This takes place well into the book, after the woman is hospitalized and being treated for obesity:

"After each big runny feast's stuck in front o' me on that tray table, meself's left to chew on me thoughts. I hadn't really felt much o' anythin' fer years. I guess mebbe fat numbs yeh. Swellin's leavin' me frame, and me eyes and ears is more alert. Sister Monica had told me once at school that I was stuffin' down more than me food; feelin's was gettin' buried in the early grave o' me body, said she. So, I'm watchin' the rain sideways through the window. I'm Irish. Rain's a habit. Me fat's drainin' out o' me like me own personal rain shower. I'm gettin' bleedin' nervous about me thoughts. I'm thinkin' that bein' hungry's not always about the crisps and chips and mountians o' creamy, sweet trifle." (pp 127-128 The Fattest Woman in Ireland by Patricia Mees Armstrong. (2009). Crane Dance Publications, Eugene, Or.

I read that and was floored. I know all this logically. I used to be a licensed counselor. I have studied psychology and addiction and have been reading books about dieting, eating disorders, and losing weight most of my adult life. And, something like this still hits me in the gut (so to speak).


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-melba rounds & LC cheese wedge (70)
-sandwich (300) -W bread, LC cheese, ham, tomato
-orange (86)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-100 cal popcorn (100)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)
-even more crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)

total diet cokes today: 1.5
Calories:...2031

going to bed before I eat any more!!!!

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
Man! My legs were so rubbery today, I was only able to do 6 min on the machine. Oy! I am going to try to do some "power" housework this afternoon & hope for some calories burned!

Water:
about 50-60 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
see above

Until tomorrow,
Two

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day 19 - The Pants FIT!!! Yay! & Goals (short & long term)

My day (Friday 1/29/10) -
It has been an OK day. Kind of busy & stressful. But, my husband came home from work early today, so that helped. I even got a nap this afternoon!

Today I wore a pair of pants that a couple weeks ago would have smothered me all day. But they fit perfect! My clothes are definitely starting to get looser! I need it too because I was really out of control over the holidays and barely had anything that fit before. After the holidays I really didn't have ANYTHING to wear except a couple pairs of sweats and one pair of HUGE jeans. Even my T-shirts didn't fit any longer. So, I was happy about that today! Makes me want to work even harder for the goal of getting back into the 10 or 12 pairs of size 18 jeans I have!

So, I am really trying to look toward my goals (short term as well as long term). Every time I go into the bathroom - which is a lot with all this water - I tell myself: "stay off the scale!" So far, so good. Here is a great article on The Importance of Setting Medium-Term Goals from the SparkPeople. It is important for me...because if I just look at that big, end goal, it becomes too overwhelming and far away to stay motivated.


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-KFC grill chx meal, partial (480 est)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1875

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
traveling all day. No w/o

Water:
50 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Since I have to travel once a week to another town down south, I often do shopping there I cannot do at home. For instance, we have no Trader Joes in my town!!! So, I sometimes stop there & stock up on stuff. I did not today, fortunately. At Trader Joes they have one of my favorite binge foods. They have these almond chocolate cluster things that are just HEAVEN! I will often buy two boxes and eat one whole one on the way home! Then eat the other partially that night and the rest the next morning. Bad, bad, bad! I decided to do other shopping and maybe not go to Trader Joes until I am on my new eating plan for a while! :-)

Until tomorrow,
Two

Thursday, January 28, 2010

day 18 - Staying OFF the scale!

My day (Thursday 1/28/10) -
Very hungry today. Not sure why. I am also disappointed! I made the mistake of jumping on the scale this morning (NOT my weigh-in day) and my weight was back up to 255.5! (It was 253 on monday). I have not cheated once! I have been under my cal limit all week, working out, and even started drinking my water a couple days ago. I was MAD! That'll show me! Stay off the damn scale. So, my new mini goal is to avoid the scale until my weigh-in day.

By the way, if you want to see a good review of a new diet book: Cook Yourself Thin Faster, check out Pudget's blog!

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-KFC grill chx meal, partial (450)
-FF tapioca pudding (80)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (210)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1770

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
my knees are WAY too sore from yesterday's workout. ugh. And, I have to travel tomorrow morning, didn't want to push myself into a flare. So, no workout today.

Water:
slower today that I should be...so far about 40 oz. trying to pick it up!

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
The scale is my nemesis! I have been known to weigh myself obsessively. But it's bad because I see progress as too slow & get discouraged. It is also a way I beat myself up. So, I am going to try really hard to stay off the scale!

Until tomorrow,
Two

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Day 17 -favorite snacks

My day (Wednesday 1/27/10) -
Home with two sick kids today. So, I am not planning on getting much done! But doing good today with food so far. The elliptical is calling my name. The baby is asleep and I need to get my butt in gear! I am still getting the hang of twitter. Still not sure if I like it. I much prefer facebook, or even myspace! But if you would like to follow me, the link is to the right.

Additionally, I have to say that I am so proud of the hubster! On his own he found a tool on livestrong.com where you can track you daily food intake & track calories and other nutritional info. He really likes it (which is important, so he will use it): http://www.livestrong.com/myplate/ This site is pretty impressive, check it out!

Oh, BTW, I ended up with 60 oz of water yesterday (yay me!) but was also up all night peeing (big surprise!). So, I am going to try for that again today. My new favorite food - an old favorite, actually - is Laughing Cow FL swiss cheese wedges. They are creamy and can be spread like cream cheese. I use them on sandwiches (so no mayo, or cheese slices), on bagels, or crackers. 35 cal, 2 g fat. Not bad. - One of my FAVORITE snacks to have with this is to spread them on 2 Wheat Thins Flat Bread crackers, tuscan herb (you can also use rye crisp) and to add a couple fat slices of Roma tomato on top. YUMMY! And only about 100 cal.


And, I have to report, that even thought I am generally very satisfied with the Full Bars I have used I have a problem....the bars are OK (apple, cocoa, etc) but not very tasteful. I guess that is how they are supposed to be since you eat them before a meal & you don't want a heavy, strongly sweet bar before the meal (though, myself, I have never had a problem starting with dessert!). And, the bites, they are very good! Something I might eat just because they are good. But, last night I had a peanut butter flavored bar. It was NAST-Y! I couldn't even finish it! I wouldn't even have enjoyed that bar if it were dipped in chocolate & topped with whipped cream. I certainly wont be getting that flavor again!



Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-sandwich (275) -W bread, LC cheese, ham
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-lg orange (86)
-RK treat (90)
-LF/LS fudgescicle (40)
-Full bar (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (210)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)
-lg banana (120)

total diet cokes today: 1.5
Calories:...1851

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
18 minutes on the elliptical, sweatin' to Eminem.

Water:
60 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
So, a couple weeks ago I talked about back fat (Day 6 post) and I have to say that now that I am losing some weight....it feels WORSE! ICK! The saggy loose skin. UCK UCK UCK! I know, it will get better (at least I HOPE it will) but when I move, I feel the skin flowing over & touching the lower skin. I HATE HATE HATE IT!

Until tomorrow,
Two

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

day sixteen - why it's working!!! And, playlist, as promised

My day (Tuesday 1/26/10) -Well, it's all a journey. But I am trying to figure out why, after all the many many years of dieting, trying to eat right, etc, that this time, it is finally clicking. Craving are almost non-existent most of the time. I am doing good at staying under my cal req for the day. I haven't been able to stay on a diet for more than a week in probably 10 years. Workouts could be more, but trying not to push that too hard right now due to health reasons.

I think part of it was something Tyler said on his blog (and for the life of me I cannot find it now). But, he talked about "fad" diets and slowly changing how you eat. That you can't maintain a loss if you can't maintain the diet. If you lose a bunch of weight on the carrot soup diet, how are you going to keep it off? Eat carrot soup for the rest of your life? No, you have to take the way you would eat and work with that. Now, why it took a man half my age to get through to me on that after I have been to diet clinics, counselors, nutritionists, etc I don't know. But, heck, when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Reducing the amount of what I normally eat, tweaking it a little (low-fat/low calorie versions), and slowly adding healthy foods in at the same time seems to work. One change I made is I have a big salad every night with dinner. I mean a BIG one! I also eat fruit at least once a day (usually at the 3:00 slump time). I have been on plenty of diets where I quit eating "bad stuff" cold turkey (pun intended!) and the older I get, the harder it is. Impossible, in fact.

That being said, something I have always struggled with is cooking on a consistent basis. I am sporadic about it normally and we do eat prepared foods regularly. I just cannot cook an organic, vegetarian dinner every night! I just wont keep it up! So, lean cuisines (and the like) have worked for me. My husband and I eat them and a large salad at night (after we have our Full Bar supplement). It seems to work. I know that frozen diet dinners are not the most nutritious things, but they are portion controlled and the big salad give us some fresh, healthy food as well.

And, finally, I have to say that blogging has played a HUGE role in all this as well. I LOVE IT! People who follow me must say "DAMN, she posts every day!" But that is what is takes for me. It seems to work where nothing else has (WW weigh-ins, Jenny Craig check-ins, food logs for the nutritionist, online support groups, etc etc). So I am going to keep posting (and reading the blogs I follow, which is now about 10). Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone. And, I promise to title my posts better from now on, rather that just "day xxx" :-)

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-crackers, LC cheese (95)
-lg orange (86) - it has been a very "snacky" morning
-LC sandwich (330)
-lg banana (120)
-crackers, LC cheese (95)
-Full bar (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (200)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream sandwich (150)
-100 cal bag of popcorn (100)

total diet cokes today: 1.5
Calories:...1996 (a little bit over, but still under 500 deficit. The snacky morning got me...one 120 calorie banana too many for the day!)

Note on diet cokes: OK, I have been doing good at keeping them to 2 a day. Yesterday I went up to three and woke up today feeling like crap! Coincidence?

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)



workout:
No workout today (unless you count carrying around a 20# baby most of the day!) I will probably do some crunches tonight.

Yesterday I said I would post my current playlist, so here it is (the starred songs are ones I almost always shuffle to during a workout, when I need an extra umph):

The Way You Move – Outkast

Ironic –Alanis Morissette

Bring Me Some Water – Melissa Ethridge

Lose Yourself – Eminem **

Superman – Eminem

I Would Die For You – Prince

Bitch - Alanis Morissette

My Humps – Black Eye Peas **

You Oughtta Know - Alanis Morissette **

Shake That – Eminem

I Will Survive – Aretha Franklin

Back In The Saddle Again – Aerosmith

Wild Thing – Sam Kennison

Dude Looks Like A Lady – Aerosmith

Walk This Way – Aerosmith

Mustang Sally – Grand Funk Railroad

Love Is A Battlefield – Pat Benetar & Queen Latifa (Remix)

Suck My Kiss – Red Hot Chili Peppers

‘Till I Collapse –Eminem & Nate Dogg

Bombs Over Bagdad – Outkast ***

Super Bitch – Christina Aguilera

The New Workout Plan – Kanye West

We Are The Champions – Queen

Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard

Booty – Erykah Badu

Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen

Pump It – Black Eyed Peas


My MP3 player list is VERY eclectic. I have Elvis, Harry Connick Jr, Eminem, Al Greene, George Michael, Garth Brooks, Indie Arie, Meat Loaf, The Monkeys, Tone Loc, James Brown....just to name a few. So, my workout list is pretty eclectic as well ;-)

Water:
ended up with 60 oz for the day!!!! {Angi, aren't you proud? :D}

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I think the pictures yesterday are enough "confession" for me for a day or two. Can't get into anything right now.

Monday, January 25, 2010

day fifteen & "before" pictures

My day (Monday 1/25/10) -So, last night was pretty hard. The baby would not sleep and was up & down until 3:30 am. I ended up eating (in addition to yesterday's food already posted" about 250 more cals. Not bad, considering, but I was doing so well yesterday. Well, hopefully this won't be an every night occurrence, but you never know with babies. She has become such a light sleeper! But, other than that, today has not been too bad so far. I am tired. I am not getting much done around the house. But, I worked out & ate like I needed. So, pretty good.


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-smart ones meal (250)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-FF tapico pudding (80)
-Luna Cookie (140)
-full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (200)
-LC meal (320)
-skinny cow ice cream sandwich (150)

total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1840 (spot on!)

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)



workout:
18 minutes on elliptical (finally got a good workout playlist. Will post tomorrow if anyone is interested)

Water:
working on that...probably 20 oz today

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Ok, here are the pictures of my hugeness! OMG! This is why I didn't want to take them. It is HARD to post these! This is after 2 weeks & a loss of 7 pounds. I know I am actually smaller than I was 2 weeks ago, since my pants are fitting looser.

I have to add one explanation, however...that gut? While, yes, it is F-A-T, it is also stretched WAY out my 5 VERY LARGE babies over the past 20+ years. The last being over 11#. Not to mention the C-section, hysterectomy, and other abdominal surgeries I have had don't help with muscle tone! So, not sure how much of the flat stomach I used to have I can reclaim without the help of some very expensive surgery!

It is really tough to post these picks and makes me feel like all is hopeless. I worry about losing weight & still having all this skin! I guess I cross that bridge when I come to it. Save up for surgery, or try to get my insurance to pay for part (because it causes medical problems....but that's TMI!).










and, no, I am not leaning forward in this pic ---> ...that IS my butt!



****WEIGH-IN WEEK TWO****

Starting weight: 260
last week: 256.5

today: 253

Result: -3.5#
Total loss: -7#


YA!!!!!

This week I am going to work on putting more priority on 1) working out, and 2) water

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 14 - working out @ night/weight prejudice & medical field

My day (Sunday 1/24/10) -SO, working out last night was not that great of an idea. It was good to work out. However, most the time I try to work out at night, I can't sleep. So I was up until 3:30am, trying not to eat! I ate about 10 melba toast rounds (about 115 cal) but that is about it. Now I am dead tired today! --- and my butt is sore! Wondering if anyone else has this same issue (working out at night keeping them up). I used to be able to go to the gym at 10pm, workout for an hour or so, shower & go to sleep @ midnight & wake up the next day fine. But...I guess getting old sucks!

Also, found a new "Full" product to eat before dinner: full bites - they sell them at my grocery store now....the cheddar ones are really good! You eat them and drink a glass of water and, for me, they work pretty well. and last most of the evening (which is one of my worst times).


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!



Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (275)
-crackers & LC cheese (95)
-1/2 LC lasagne (145)
-green beans w/almonds & tiny bit of EVOO (50)
-chicken leg, baked (275)
-RK square (90)
-full bites (150)
-big salad w/ light dressing (180)
-LC dinner (320)
-skinny cow ice cream (140)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1720

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)



workout:
none today.

Water:
20 oz (10 cal) vitamin water + 20 oz water

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
tomorrow I WILL take pics & post them...that will be my "confession" for the day. I have been avoiding it because I don't want to see them :(



Also, I keep meaning to share this great article about weight prejudice & the medical field:

The surprising reason why being overweight isn't healthy

"It's shocking, but it's true: Being a woman who's more than 20 pounds overweight may actually hike your risk of getting poor medical treatment. In fact, weighing too much can have surprising -- and devastating -- health repercussions beyond the usual diabetes and heart-health concerns you've heard about for years....." (read more)

until tomorrow,
Two

Saturday, January 23, 2010

day thirteen -mindful vs mindless eating

My day (Saturday 1/23/10) - Feeling very optimistic about this week's weigh-in. My pants are fitting looser!!! YEAH! It is getting easier to avoid "mindless eating." I have been reading a book on mindful eating. It is helpful and makes sense to me as I am a Buddhist. Mindfulness is one of the keystones of Buddhism. Food and eating is one area where I have not been a very good Buddhist. Not at all! So, this book is helping.

Also, in the hopes of getting a supportive following, I have begun to subscribe to, visit, and comment on other WL blogs. I am hoping that will help. Thanks for anyone who is checking out my new blog. Please leave a comment so I know you are out there :-)

late: got my first comment today! woohoo! So excited. There are actually people out there! AND: my first "follower" - YAY!

Also, I am adding a Twitter account for this blog. Or, I guess I should say, I am tweeting as well as blogging? I usually don't use twitter. I am normally a facebook person. But I will try it: https://twitter.com/twoofmee


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!


Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oaks bfst "cookie" (175)
-half chx breast (baked) (202)
-crackers & LC cheese (95)
-Spec K bar (90)
-full bar (160)
-big salad w/ light dressing (180)
-LC dinner (320)
---I may have a skinny cow ice cream for dessert, but that is only another 140 cal, so that would be 1637 for the day....ya hoo!

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1497

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.




workout:
13 min of pretty intense elliptical & some crunches

Water:
12 oz so far. Will try for more before I go to bed! Will try to get to 24 oz today.

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Sex is not so great (or at least as not as great as it used to be) when you both get fat! One of the reasons I am losing weight is to make that better. Now that's a motivator! :D


until tomorrow,
Two

Friday, January 22, 2010

day twelve - A New Discovery: Full Bars

OK, here is my day (Friday 1/22/10) - OK, starting with a clean slate today. Yesterday got progressively worse. But, instead of it being an excuse to just say "screw it!" I am just letting it go & heading into today.

So, tried something new today: Both my husband and I had a full bar before dinner. Both of us have a hard time with nighttime eating. And, I have to say, it worked pretty good. I ate dinner 3 hours ago and I still feel very full! My husband didn't even finish his dinner (which is a miracle!). I was skeptical, but they work pretty good. Now that I can buy then at the store (for about $1.50 rather than from an infomercial) I think I might try them out.



Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!


Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (275)
-bagel (plain) (300) - those darn bagels! grrrr
-lots o' chicken (baked) 1 thigh & 3 wings (553)
-RK treat (180)
-bar (100)
-full bar (100)
-Chicken (baked) (153)
-big salad w/ light dressing (180)
-brussel sprouts (100)
-lg orange (86)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...2027
Damn good day, I say!

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.




workout:
None. fought off a migraine after the drive today. But will work out tomorrow for sure.

Water:
12 oz (working on it!) I am going to drink more right now! :)

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Hmmmm....what to write today? I guess I can talk about sweet/salty binges. One of the cravings I have is for sweets. But after a while, it gets to much. But if I eat something salty, I can then go back to eating sweets. I seem to need to continue to eat them even after my body is telling me: "blech! Enough sweets already!" - Some how the salty/savory foods enable me to eat even more sweets.


until tomorrow,
Two