Monday, July 26, 2010

food & worry

I am so worried about money lately, that I can not even be excited that I am finally losing weight again. I have my own business and work from home. I have been working some LONG hours...but it is really difficult to get much done right now. The baby wants SO much of my attention (she is one now, and that is just what 1-year-old's do, but it is hard to get anything done) and there is just no way I can afford to put here in even part time day care. The house is a wreck. But, hell, if I don't get the work done and the sales in, might not even be a house to clean anyway! I mean, that is how bad it is! It is hard to continue to justify buying food that is not the cheapest (we all know healthy, "diet" food cost more)...but then again, having the diabetes create a medical need to do so.

It's tough times for everyone. The economy has hit our business hard. I have finally expanded to get some more money coming in...but it is going slower than I had hoped. May have to borrow money from the mother-in-law to get the house payment in before the end of the month (before they throw us into foreclosure, seriously). It sucks! My husband has a good job (but hasn't had a raise in three years). But even the good job isn't enough to cover the expenses of special needs kids...and a mom who "stays home" to work with them. And, while we write some of that off on our taxes, that doesn't even help anymore since we have to give any refunds to the bankruptcy trustee. :-(

So, I am trying to stay focused on eating right (which is hard to do for me in times like these). For some reason, hitting that survival mode makes me want to eat bad, cheap food. But, I am trying to get through it. Our busy season is coming up. And, HOPEFULLY, I will eventually see some sort of settlement from this accident. Those will help some. Sorry, this is not a very good weight loss post. I will do better with my next post.


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