Thursday, January 21, 2010

day eleven - Ricki Lake article (260 to 130!)

OK, here is my day (Thursday 1/21/10) - I am glad payday isn't until tomorrow, so I wont be going to the grocery store until tomorrow...because I feel a binge right below the surface. I have nothing at home that is really turning me on about binging on it. But, if I go to the store in this state, who knows what I will buy.

I am having some frustrations with the baby. She is seven months now & starting to be very stubborn about naps & eating & going to bed at night. We are having a sort of "battle of the wills." That is stressing me out because I am just too old for it. And, It is hard, sometimes, to be the grandma (and wanting to spoil her like crazy) and at the same time the "mom" (who has to make sure she isn't too spoiled).

LATER: Tonight was BAD. I wouldn't say I "binged" per se, but I did have a snack fest. I probably went up to my daily calorie requirement, if not a little more. But, instead of beating myself up for not writing it all down, I am posting this as is and working on a "clean slate" theory.

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!

start again tomorrow!
See above

total diet cokes today: 3

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.

LOTS of pain today. No workout.


Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Again, maybe not a confession, but....I really really loathe my body right now. I feel like a big, fat, pig! Nothing I wear looks good. I look like a "fat lady." My body jiggles when I walk (and NOT in a good way). Everything feels confining. I feel trapped.

Ricki Lake – Half My Size
Ricki Lake used to weight 260 pounds. She conquered her weight issues and went from a size 24 to a size 2.

until tomorrow,

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