Slow loss but still losing....

So, since the accident, I have not been able to workout. And, apparently, I can only handle one thing at a time, because with all the running around to doctors, etc, I have not done one food log. I am trying to keep eating similar to before, but know I am not staying under 1800 calories. However, in the last two weeks I did lose a pound. That is pretty good for not working out (and not drinking water like I should).

Of course the baby has picked this time to start standing and crawling....but it is adorable! :) The kids are all keeping me busy. I am trying not to lift or overdo things - which is pretty hard with the life I have been living. Just because I am injured in the accident doesn't mean all these things don't need to get done! Totally slacked off on housework (something I couldn't afford to do with the shape of the house before!). Also, due to the drowsiness from pain meds, I have slept or laid down when tired rather than continuing to go go go. And, I have found I eat less when I do that. I know that I eat when I am tired & run-down. Quick energy foods (carbs, sugar, etc). But, if I just rest (like my body is telling me to) then I don't eat as much....though that is often easier said than done!

My car is STILL not fixed. Dealing with insurance companies, attorneys, and all sorts of crap. I am starting to get over the resentment of the accident and getting to a place of acceptance. I am in pain less with treatment, but still in pain. Have a great chiropractor and massage therapist. My husband has been great & does all he can, but he also works about 60 hours a week and isn't home a lot (though he did take a week off work right afterward to help me and drive me around).

So, I need to start posting here more, again. I got my laptop back online and have it set up in the living room....so I have no excuse now!!

Best,
Two

day 28 - Time to start blogging again!!

My day (Sunday 2/7/10) -
OK, time for me to sit and try to write some. I still have lots of pain & stiffness. It is going to be a long road to recovery. However, I need to get blogging again!


I wanna new bar....
Ok, I have been looking for a decent bar that isn't too high in calories, but will also fill me up at the 10:00 snack time. So, I found something that I used to eat a lot in college: Heart Thrive bars. They are SUPER healthy and only 161 calories a serving, over 6 grams of protein, 257 mg of calcium, whole grain, nonGMO, vegan, and they are wheat & dairy free.

INGREDIENTS

OATS, UNSULFURED APRICOTS, BROWN RICE SYRUP, BROWN RICE FLOUR, SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, SOY FLOUR, INULIN (CHICORY ROOT EXTRACT), RICE BRAN, NATURAL FRUIT JUICE, DRIED PLUMS, DRIED APPLES, DRIED PEARS, ORANGE PEEL, CALCIUM CITRATE, ALMOND EXTRACT.

Apricot is my favorite but there area lots of flavors. You thought be able to find them at a health food store near you.


Other than that, I have been surviving. Being in constant pain for 5 days is something I am sort of used to with fibromyalgia. But this back/neck pain is quite icky! Dealing with the insurance companies, trying to get my car fixed, not run out of pain pills, going to Dr after Dr, and still trying to keep my life going....well, that is a challenge to say the least!

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-heart thrive bar (161)
-lean cuisine (330)
-RK treat (90)
-bar (100)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)


total diet cokes today: 4!
Calories:...1871

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
None until OK'ed by Dr :-(

Water:
not much. Ok, I justify this by saying it is hard for me to move, so getting up every 10 minutes to pee is not acceptable. Can you buy that one?

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I have had my share of health problems, but damn! I really should have appreciated the ability to do things for myself, drive myself, pick things up, etc etc when I could. I feel so helpless now. The pain really sucks too.

Until tomorrow,
Two

Day 21 - new salad item, and not much else to report

My day (Sunday 1/31/10) -
Compared to yesterday, today was a piece of cake...well, no cake, but staying on track was pretty simple. Cravings were under control, so was my hunger. I found a great new salad addition: bamboo shoots! I like them anyway, and they are 10 cals for 1/2 cup!

Weigh-in is tomorrow and I am ambivalent. My water isn't what it should have been today. But, I am not making the mistake of chowing down on 100 cal popcorn the night before either (like I did last Sunday).

My post today is pretty boring. Sorry. Feel like I have bared my soul in a little in the last few. So, tomorrow will be better, I promise. Just reporting in today. Hope everyone had a good one!

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-baked chicken (450 est)
-RK treat (90)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (180)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)


total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1860

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
I was a SLUG today!

Water:
about 40 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
nothing really.

Until tomorrow,
Two

Day 20 ~ I Gotta Feelin' (rough day)

My day (Saturday 1/30/10) -
Well, I lost the fight with the scale this morning. Good news is, I am back down to 253. Maybe if I push the water & workouts, I can get down to 250 monday's weigh-in. Which would be cool! 10# is 3 weeks!?

I have been noticing that I eat about the same thing every day. The only changes, really, are the different lean cuisines (or smart ones) I eat. I don't know. Right now it's working for me. But, I am hoping to branch out soon and start cooking some LF/LC meals. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Right now I am just taking a break from full-on cooking for a little while. Especially with that impersonation of Julia Child I did over the holidays!

Later: It has been a really tough day for me. Today was one of the days my husband had to work and I was home with all the kids, all day. I wasn't really hungry, but I wanted to just eat & eat! I just felt this feeling of restlessness & was uncomfortable...only word that describes it. Not sure what that is about. I used to binge a lot on these days. I am not sure what it is about them that gets to me. The kids were not terribly difficult today.

I found a great paragraph last night in a book I am reading that pretty much hits the nail on the head. The book is called The Fattest Woman in Ireland by Patricia Mees Armstrong. If you would like to read more about the history of this book or about its author (it is quite an interesting story!) you can check out this blog or the website for the book. The author just recently passed away from breast cancer. Below is the paragraph. This takes place well into the book, after the woman is hospitalized and being treated for obesity:

"After each big runny feast's stuck in front o' me on that tray table, meself's left to chew on me thoughts. I hadn't really felt much o' anythin' fer years. I guess mebbe fat numbs yeh. Swellin's leavin' me frame, and me eyes and ears is more alert. Sister Monica had told me once at school that I was stuffin' down more than me food; feelin's was gettin' buried in the early grave o' me body, said she. So, I'm watchin' the rain sideways through the window. I'm Irish. Rain's a habit. Me fat's drainin' out o' me like me own personal rain shower. I'm gettin' bleedin' nervous about me thoughts. I'm thinkin' that bein' hungry's not always about the crisps and chips and mountians o' creamy, sweet trifle." (pp 127-128 The Fattest Woman in Ireland by Patricia Mees Armstrong. (2009). Crane Dance Publications, Eugene, Or.

I read that and was floored. I know all this logically. I used to be a licensed counselor. I have studied psychology and addiction and have been reading books about dieting, eating disorders, and losing weight most of my adult life. And, something like this still hits me in the gut (so to speak).


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-melba rounds & LC cheese wedge (70)
-sandwich (300) -W bread, LC cheese, ham, tomato
-orange (86)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)
-100 cal popcorn (100)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (330)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)
-even more crackers, LC cheese, tomato (105)

total diet cokes today: 1.5
Calories:...2031

going to bed before I eat any more!!!!

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
Man! My legs were so rubbery today, I was only able to do 6 min on the machine. Oy! I am going to try to do some "power" housework this afternoon & hope for some calories burned!

Water:
about 50-60 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
see above

Until tomorrow,
Two

Day 19 - The Pants FIT!!! Yay! & Goals (short & long term)

My day (Friday 1/29/10) -
It has been an OK day. Kind of busy & stressful. But, my husband came home from work early today, so that helped. I even got a nap this afternoon!

Today I wore a pair of pants that a couple weeks ago would have smothered me all day. But they fit perfect! My clothes are definitely starting to get looser! I need it too because I was really out of control over the holidays and barely had anything that fit before. After the holidays I really didn't have ANYTHING to wear except a couple pairs of sweats and one pair of HUGE jeans. Even my T-shirts didn't fit any longer. So, I was happy about that today! Makes me want to work even harder for the goal of getting back into the 10 or 12 pairs of size 18 jeans I have!

So, I am really trying to look toward my goals (short term as well as long term). Every time I go into the bathroom - which is a lot with all this water - I tell myself: "stay off the scale!" So far, so good. Here is a great article on The Importance of Setting Medium-Term Goals from the SparkPeople. It is important for me...because if I just look at that big, end goal, it becomes too overwhelming and far away to stay motivated.


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-KFC grill chx meal, partial (480 est)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1875

Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
traveling all day. No w/o

Water:
50 oz

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Since I have to travel once a week to another town down south, I often do shopping there I cannot do at home. For instance, we have no Trader Joes in my town!!! So, I sometimes stop there & stock up on stuff. I did not today, fortunately. At Trader Joes they have one of my favorite binge foods. They have these almond chocolate cluster things that are just HEAVEN! I will often buy two boxes and eat one whole one on the way home! Then eat the other partially that night and the rest the next morning. Bad, bad, bad! I decided to do other shopping and maybe not go to Trader Joes until I am on my new eating plan for a while! :-)

Until tomorrow,
Two

day sixteen - why it's working!!! And, playlist, as promised

My day (Tuesday 1/26/10) -Well, it's all a journey. But I am trying to figure out why, after all the many many years of dieting, trying to eat right, etc, that this time, it is finally clicking. Craving are almost non-existent most of the time. I am doing good at staying under my cal req for the day. I haven't been able to stay on a diet for more than a week in probably 10 years. Workouts could be more, but trying not to push that too hard right now due to health reasons.

I think part of it was something Tyler said on his blog (and for the life of me I cannot find it now). But, he talked about "fad" diets and slowly changing how you eat. That you can't maintain a loss if you can't maintain the diet. If you lose a bunch of weight on the carrot soup diet, how are you going to keep it off? Eat carrot soup for the rest of your life? No, you have to take the way you would eat and work with that. Now, why it took a man half my age to get through to me on that after I have been to diet clinics, counselors, nutritionists, etc I don't know. But, heck, when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Reducing the amount of what I normally eat, tweaking it a little (low-fat/low calorie versions), and slowly adding healthy foods in at the same time seems to work. One change I made is I have a big salad every night with dinner. I mean a BIG one! I also eat fruit at least once a day (usually at the 3:00 slump time). I have been on plenty of diets where I quit eating "bad stuff" cold turkey (pun intended!) and the older I get, the harder it is. Impossible, in fact.

That being said, something I have always struggled with is cooking on a consistent basis. I am sporadic about it normally and we do eat prepared foods regularly. I just cannot cook an organic, vegetarian dinner every night! I just wont keep it up! So, lean cuisines (and the like) have worked for me. My husband and I eat them and a large salad at night (after we have our Full Bar supplement). It seems to work. I know that frozen diet dinners are not the most nutritious things, but they are portion controlled and the big salad give us some fresh, healthy food as well.

And, finally, I have to say that blogging has played a HUGE role in all this as well. I LOVE IT! People who follow me must say "DAMN, she posts every day!" But that is what is takes for me. It seems to work where nothing else has (WW weigh-ins, Jenny Craig check-ins, food logs for the nutritionist, online support groups, etc etc). So I am going to keep posting (and reading the blogs I follow, which is now about 10). Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone. And, I promise to title my posts better from now on, rather that just "day xxx" :-)

Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-crackers, LC cheese (95)
-lg orange (86) - it has been a very "snacky" morning
-LC sandwich (330)
-lg banana (120)
-crackers, LC cheese (95)
-Full bar (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (200)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream sandwich (150)
-100 cal bag of popcorn (100)

total diet cokes today: 1.5
Calories:...1996 (a little bit over, but still under 500 deficit. The snacky morning got me...one 120 calorie banana too many for the day!)

Note on diet cokes: OK, I have been doing good at keeping them to 2 a day. Yesterday I went up to three and woke up today feeling like crap! Coincidence?

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
No workout today (unless you count carrying around a 20# baby most of the day!) I will probably do some crunches tonight.

Yesterday I said I would post my current playlist, so here it is (the starred songs are ones I almost always shuffle to during a workout, when I need an extra umph):

The Way You Move – Outkast

Ironic –Alanis Morissette

Bring Me Some Water – Melissa Ethridge

Lose Yourself – Eminem **

Superman – Eminem

I Would Die For You – Prince

Bitch - Alanis Morissette

My Humps – Black Eye Peas **

You Oughtta Know - Alanis Morissette **

Shake That – Eminem

I Will Survive – Aretha Franklin

Back In The Saddle Again – Aerosmith

Wild Thing – Sam Kennison

Dude Looks Like A Lady – Aerosmith

Walk This Way – Aerosmith

Mustang Sally – Grand Funk Railroad

Love Is A Battlefield – Pat Benetar & Queen Latifa (Remix)

Suck My Kiss – Red Hot Chili Peppers

‘Till I Collapse –Eminem & Nate Dogg

Bombs Over Bagdad – Outkast ***

Super Bitch – Christina Aguilera

The New Workout Plan – Kanye West

We Are The Champions – Queen

Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard

Booty – Erykah Badu

Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen

Pump It – Black Eyed Peas

My MP3 player list is VERY eclectic. I have Elvis, Harry Connick Jr, Eminem, Al Greene, George Michael, Garth Brooks, Indie Arie, Meat Loaf, The Monkeys, Tone Loc, James Brown....just to name a few. So, my workout list is pretty eclectic as well ;-)

Water:
ended up with 60 oz for the day!!!! {Angi, aren't you proud? :D}

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I think the pictures yesterday are enough "confession" for me for a day or two. Can't get into anything right now.

day fifteen & "before" pictures

My day (Monday 1/25/10) -So, last night was pretty hard. The baby would not sleep and was up & down until 3:30 am. I ended up eating (in addition to yesterday's food already posted" about 250 more cals. Not bad, considering, but I was doing so well yesterday. Well, hopefully this won't be an every night occurrence, but you never know with babies. She has become such a light sleeper! But, other than that, today has not been too bad so far. I am tired. I am not getting much done around the house. But, I worked out & ate like I needed. So, pretty good.


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!

Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oats bkfst bar (175)
-smart ones meal (250)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-FF tapico pudding (80)
-Luna Cookie (140)
-full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (200)
-LC meal (320)
-skinny cow ice cream sandwich (150)

total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1840 (spot on!)

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
18 minutes on elliptical (finally got a good workout playlist. Will post tomorrow if anyone is interested)

Water:
working on that...probably 20 oz today

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Ok, here are the pictures of my hugeness! OMG! This is why I didn't want to take them. It is HARD to post these! This is after 2 weeks & a loss of 7 pounds. I know I am actually smaller than I was 2 weeks ago, since my pants are fitting looser.

I have to add one explanation, however...that gut? While, yes, it is F-A-T, it is also stretched WAY out my 5 VERY LARGE babies over the past 20+ years. The last being over 11#. Not to mention the C-section, hysterectomy, and other abdominal surgeries I have had don't help with muscle tone! So, not sure how much of the flat stomach I used to have I can reclaim without the help of some very expensive surgery!

It is really tough to post these picks and makes me feel like all is hopeless. I worry about losing weight & still having all this skin! I guess I cross that bridge when I come to it. Save up for surgery, or try to get my insurance to pay for part (because it causes medical problems....but that's TMI!).

and, no, I am not leaning forward in this pic ---> ...that IS my butt!

Day 14 - working out @ night/weight prejudice & medical field

My day (Sunday 1/24/10) -SO, working out last night was not that great of an idea. It was good to work out. However, most the time I try to work out at night, I can't sleep. So I was up until 3:30am, trying not to eat! I ate about 10 melba toast rounds (about 115 cal) but that is about it. Now I am dead tired today! --- and my butt is sore! Wondering if anyone else has this same issue (working out at night keeping them up). I used to be able to go to the gym at 10pm, workout for an hour or so, shower & go to sleep @ midnight & wake up the next day fine. But...I guess getting old sucks!

Also, found a new "Full" product to eat before dinner: full bites - they sell them at my grocery store now....the cheddar ones are really good! You eat them and drink a glass of water and, for me, they work pretty well. and last most of the evening (which is one of my worst times).


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!


Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (275)
-crackers & LC cheese (95)
-1/2 LC lasagne (145)
-green beans w/almonds & tiny bit of EVOO (50)
-chicken leg, baked (275)
-RK square (90)
-full bites (150)
-big salad w/ light dressing (180)
-LC dinner (320)
-skinny cow ice cream (140)

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1720

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

500 calorie deficit: 2079
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)

workout:
none today.

Water:
20 oz (10 cal) vitamin water + 20 oz water

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
tomorrow I WILL take pics & post them...that will be my "confession" for the day. I have been avoiding it because I don't want to see them :(



Also, I keep meaning to share this great article about weight prejudice & the medical field:

The surprising reason why being overweight isn't healthy

"It's shocking, but it's true: Being a woman who's more than 20 pounds overweight may actually hike your risk of getting poor medical treatment. In fact, weighing too much can have surprising -- and devastating -- health repercussions beyond the usual diabetes and heart-health concerns you've heard about for years....." (read more)

until tomorrow,
Two

day thirteen -mindful vs mindless eating

My day (Saturday 1/23/10) - Feeling very optimistic about this week's weigh-in. My pants are fitting looser!!! YEAH! It is getting easier to avoid "mindless eating." I have been reading a book on mindful eating. It is helpful and makes sense to me as I am a Buddhist. Mindfulness is one of the keystones of Buddhism. Food and eating is one area where I have not been a very good Buddhist. Not at all! So, this book is helping.

Also, in the hopes of getting a supportive following, I have begun to subscribe to, visit, and comment on other WL blogs. I am hoping that will help. Thanks for anyone who is checking out my new blog. Please leave a comment so I know you are out there :-)

late: got my first comment today! woohoo! So excited. There are actually people out there! AND: my first "follower" - YAY!

Also, I am adding a Twitter account for this blog. Or, I guess I should say, I am tweeting as well as blogging? I usually don't use twitter. I am normally a facebook person. But I will try it: https://twitter.com/twoofmee


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
Mini Goal: more water!


Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (275)
-Quaker oaks bfst "cookie" (175)
-half chx breast (baked) (202)
-crackers & LC cheese (95)
-Spec K bar (90)
-full bar (160)
-big salad w/ light dressing (180)
-LC dinner (320)
---I may have a skinny cow ice cream for dessert, but that is only another 140 cal, so that would be 1637 for the day....ya hoo!

total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1497

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.

workout:
13 min of pretty intense elliptical & some crunches

Water:
12 oz so far. Will try for more before I go to bed! Will try to get to 24 oz today.

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Sex is not so great (or at least as not as great as it used to be) when you both get fat! One of the reasons I am losing weight is to make that better. Now that's a motivator! :D


until tomorrow,
Two

Day eight

OK, here is my day (Monday 1/18/10) - So, one thing I think I need to do is break this snacking habit. Right now, I have just changed to low-cal snacks, but I am still grazing. I don't think it is good because I am going to get tired of those low cal snacks pretty soon!


Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!


Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-~1T butter (100) OUCH!
-LC cantelloni (240)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-wheat thin flatbread w/laughing cow cheese (190)
-mini rice cakes (140)
-CK cereal (260) ---need to get some more oranges at least so I stop this late afternoon snack. This is getting me back into old habits.
-Lean Cuisine meal (320)
-fudgescicles (80)
-melba toast (75)
-other snacks (290)


total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...2185

UPDATE: A little over today...having a slight problem with insomnia tonight. Hopefully, cals will stay where they are. Going to do my best to get a workout in the AM. Most of the kids will be in school, and I should be able to.

Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day

If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.

workout:
worked up quite a sweat doing housework for several hours this morning...then I crashed and had lots of pain. I didn't want to risk a full-on flare, so no machine today.

Water:
vitamin water

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
OK, here is a good one! Couldn't sleep again tonight until 1:30am. I was so desperate for something sweet to eat that I ate the VERY stale candy corn I found on top of the fridge. Have you ever eaten stale candy corn? I am lucky they didn't break my teeth. With all that I ate tonight (candy corn and a butter "sandwich"), I probably need to add 500 calories to my daily total.

But, here is a story of a women who lost 132#
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4924602&page=1


until tomorrow,
Two

Day one

OK, here is my day (monday 1/11/10)...and I am going to try to publish some pics in either this post or the next.

weight 260#
I guess I should do some measurements soon!

Food:
-TWO diet cokes before 10 (ugh!)
-1c grape nuts w/ 2t sugar & 1/2 c milk
-1 lg bagel with 2T LF strawberry CC (I am really hungry between bfst & lunch...I usually eat a large snack around 10)
-FF tapioca pudding
-15 cheddar mini rices cakes
-lg orange
-UGH, another diet coke!
-nutrigrain bar, strawberry (I have started keeping these in the car so I eat them when I am hungry rather than a drive-thru burger)
-big salad with light dressing & slivered almonds
-lean cuisine (sesame chicken)

WOW, that seems like a lot (and it is less than I probably normally eat). I haven't started counting calories yet - one step at a time - but I wonder how many calories it is?!

UPDATE: about 8pm: cravings are getting really bad. I could totally eat a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies (home baked, of course). Had a visit with my eldest daughter today and that is always stressful & makes me want to eat! But so far I have not!

UPDATE: 9:30pm...ok, let's add yet another diet coke and a couple more handfuls of rice cakes. I guess the day has been OK, but not perfect.


workout:
OK, proud of myself today because 1) I did NOT take a nap, but jumped on the elliptical machine. And, while it might not seem like much time to most people, I worked out the longest I have been able to since I got the thing a couple mos ago...And, I almost got all the way around the "circle."


I have to try really hard to not compare what I can do now to what I used to be able to do for a workout. Because I used to workout a lot. I did circuit training for 30 min and treadmill or elliptical machine for about 45 min. So 10 minutes seems like nothing compared to that. But it is a lot more than I have been able to do recently. So, it's a start!





....well, actually, I did end up taking a nap. But that was after I worked out. Post exercise fatigue is part of fibromyalgia. and I had it today.


Water:
well, none, unless you count a bottle of 10 cal vitamin water.

This is an area I need to work on!

Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I have been hiding food for a while so my husband did not see I was eating whole boxes of twinkies or whole packages of oreos. I would hide them in my car or in the garage.