Since June 7, 2010 I have gone form 270# to 238.5 for a loss of 31.5#!
I tell you, people still don't notice. My clothes fit a little looser & I have eliminated some of the really large things but my wardrobe hasn't changed that much. :(
I am hoping I will really start to see a difference when I get to where I have lost 40 or even 50#...but will be SO happy to get back to "one-derland"!
Best,
Two
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
yeah! "new" pants!
So, a quick post this morning to say that I tried on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to fit into in over a year. Last week, they didn't fit....but today, they do!!!! Hooray!!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
weight increase (due to supplement) grrr!
So, I haven't been cheating, I think the weight increase was due to a supplement I was taking (making me retain water) and now that I stopped taking it, I am going back down again. It was a frustrating situation, but hopefully it is now resolving itself.
I am getting lots of exercise lately, just living life: walking a lot with family at events, yard work, cleaning out the garage, etc. We are still joining the YMCA at the end of this month. I really do need to get more fit...and lose more weight, but I am on my way.
The biggest news is that it seems that food is no longer "my life" lately. People used to tell me to think of food as fuel, not as recreation, or a friend, or as whatever...you eat to live, not live to eat. I could never really get into that space. But I feel like I am there now (or at least getting there)! It is a wonderful feeling not to have everything in my life revolve around food. I mean food is just a way to keep my blood sugar level and get me through the day. It is amazing (and a miracle) that *I* would ever truly feel that way! Thank you Dr. Atkins!
BTW, in case you are wondering what I normally eat, here is some info on that:
For snacking, I have found that sunflower seeds are a lifesaver for me! When I can't have things like chips, fries, etc. The sunflower seeds work for me. They *are* salty, and if you have a problem with blood pressure or sodium, maybe not the best for you. But, if you can handle the sodium, they are pretty good for munching. Protein, low carbs.
So, I do get in moods where I want to cook, but most of the time I rebel! So, I do eat some fast food/premade stuff: Carl's Jr has a pretty good plan where you can get all the burgers with lettuce wraps. They are pretty good. I was NOT impressed with the KFC new sandwich with not bun...yuck! I would rather have a bunch of grilled chicken. For breakfast I will often get a couple egg mcmuffins, some sausage, throw out the english muffins and make a sandwich with the canadian bacon on the outside.
I eat a lot of baked chicken (usually grocery stores have this in their deli) as well as steak, smoked salmon (when I can afford them) cheese, cream cheese, eggs, nuts, sausage, some veggies (the ones I like: celery, cucumber, tomatoes, on rare occasion a salad). I eat an avocado most every day. Dreamfield pasta (a *true* serving size) does not seem to spike my blood sugar...I get Hunt's no sugar added sauce and load up with italian sausage! Also, I use American cheese slices (microwaved for about 38 seconds on parchment paper) as "bread" when I am really wanting a sandwich. It works pretty well....bu they are really not that good for you, in general, so I try to limit how often I zap American Cheese; it is pretty well processed.
I was just thinking the other day: what a great diet this low carb thing is...if I can lose weight and not eat all that "rabbit food" all the time, that is great! I used to live on simple carbs, really, I did. I was an addict. I have been low carb for about 5 weeks now and I no longer crave fries, bread, chips, even sugar. I think it is a miracle!
There are ways around a lot of carbs. For instance: today I went to a family gathering and all they had to eat was pizza. I ate all the toppings off & left the crust. Cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms. It worked. I also had brought some low carb yogurt with me and I always carry some nuts and beef jerky in the car (the beef jerky can be tricky...you have to check the carbs on that, and not eat too much). I also eat atkin's bars. Some people don't do well with those (spike Blood Sugar) but I seem to do fine with them. Concerning crackers, the only type I eat are Wasa Crisp Bread (only 2 per day) with some laughing cow cheese and fresh tomatoes on top (mmmmm)
as far as Breakfast: I can tolerate glucerna cereals, but, the serving size (on all cereals) is small. You really do have to pay attention to serving size. I would rather have an atkins bar some days...and maybe an atkins shake as well (though atkins stuff will spike blood sugar on some people). However, I recently bought an egg poacher for the microwave and discovered jimmy dean fully cooked sausages. I am not too big on cooking in the morning, but if I can have a couple eggs and sausage links easily, I will eat those.
On the days I do the best, my calories break down to something like: about 1800 cals, 70% from fat, 20% from protein, and 10% from carbs. That keeps me in ketosis and I will lose weight regularly when I eat this way. I have more energy, I feel better. Sometimes all the meat meat meat gets to me...but when I think about my diet and quality of life before, I just get over it and go on.
OK, that was a rambling post! Sorry...until next time,
Two
I am getting lots of exercise lately, just living life: walking a lot with family at events, yard work, cleaning out the garage, etc. We are still joining the YMCA at the end of this month. I really do need to get more fit...and lose more weight, but I am on my way.
The biggest news is that it seems that food is no longer "my life" lately. People used to tell me to think of food as fuel, not as recreation, or a friend, or as whatever...you eat to live, not live to eat. I could never really get into that space. But I feel like I am there now (or at least getting there)! It is a wonderful feeling not to have everything in my life revolve around food. I mean food is just a way to keep my blood sugar level and get me through the day. It is amazing (and a miracle) that *I* would ever truly feel that way! Thank you Dr. Atkins!
BTW, in case you are wondering what I normally eat, here is some info on that:
For snacking, I have found that sunflower seeds are a lifesaver for me! When I can't have things like chips, fries, etc. The sunflower seeds work for me. They *are* salty, and if you have a problem with blood pressure or sodium, maybe not the best for you. But, if you can handle the sodium, they are pretty good for munching. Protein, low carbs.
So, I do get in moods where I want to cook, but most of the time I rebel! So, I do eat some fast food/premade stuff: Carl's Jr has a pretty good plan where you can get all the burgers with lettuce wraps. They are pretty good. I was NOT impressed with the KFC new sandwich with not bun...yuck! I would rather have a bunch of grilled chicken. For breakfast I will often get a couple egg mcmuffins, some sausage, throw out the english muffins and make a sandwich with the canadian bacon on the outside.
I eat a lot of baked chicken (usually grocery stores have this in their deli) as well as steak, smoked salmon (when I can afford them) cheese, cream cheese, eggs, nuts, sausage, some veggies (the ones I like: celery, cucumber, tomatoes, on rare occasion a salad). I eat an avocado most every day. Dreamfield pasta (a *true* serving size) does not seem to spike my blood sugar...I get Hunt's no sugar added sauce and load up with italian sausage! Also, I use American cheese slices (microwaved for about 38 seconds on parchment paper) as "bread" when I am really wanting a sandwich. It works pretty well....bu they are really not that good for you, in general, so I try to limit how often I zap American Cheese; it is pretty well processed.
I was just thinking the other day: what a great diet this low carb thing is...if I can lose weight and not eat all that "rabbit food" all the time, that is great! I used to live on simple carbs, really, I did. I was an addict. I have been low carb for about 5 weeks now and I no longer crave fries, bread, chips, even sugar. I think it is a miracle!
There are ways around a lot of carbs. For instance: today I went to a family gathering and all they had to eat was pizza. I ate all the toppings off & left the crust. Cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms. It worked. I also had brought some low carb yogurt with me and I always carry some nuts and beef jerky in the car (the beef jerky can be tricky...you have to check the carbs on that, and not eat too much). I also eat atkin's bars. Some people don't do well with those (spike Blood Sugar) but I seem to do fine with them. Concerning crackers, the only type I eat are Wasa Crisp Bread (only 2 per day) with some laughing cow cheese and fresh tomatoes on top (mmmmm)
as far as Breakfast: I can tolerate glucerna cereals, but, the serving size (on all cereals) is small. You really do have to pay attention to serving size. I would rather have an atkins bar some days...and maybe an atkins shake as well (though atkins stuff will spike blood sugar on some people). However, I recently bought an egg poacher for the microwave and discovered jimmy dean fully cooked sausages. I am not too big on cooking in the morning, but if I can have a couple eggs and sausage links easily, I will eat those.
On the days I do the best, my calories break down to something like: about 1800 cals, 70% from fat, 20% from protein, and 10% from carbs. That keeps me in ketosis and I will lose weight regularly when I eat this way. I have more energy, I feel better. Sometimes all the meat meat meat gets to me...but when I think about my diet and quality of life before, I just get over it and go on.
OK, that was a rambling post! Sorry...until next time,
Two
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
kind of mad today
Ok, I am kind of pissed today. First off, I had a follow up exam with the chiropractor and I have to go for at least 6 more weeks. Ugh!
Second, I have lost now, a total of 24# in one month. Do you think that ANYONE has said to me "wow, you have lost weight" - Nope, not a one! Not even my husband. Sad, mad, hurt!
I am so damn fat that 24# is just a drop in the big, huge, bucket that is me! :(
I just feel so depressed today. Someone say something to make me feel better :)
Second, I have lost now, a total of 24# in one month. Do you think that ANYONE has said to me "wow, you have lost weight" - Nope, not a one! Not even my husband. Sad, mad, hurt!
I am so damn fat that 24# is just a drop in the big, huge, bucket that is me! :(
I just feel so depressed today. Someone say something to make me feel better :)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Back in the saddle...
Well, it has been a long time since I posted. Lots of things have happened.
I had the accident and the recovery (mostly done) but it took a lot out of me. I also gained weight (went up to 270!). Then, about a month ago I found out I have PreDiabetes. So, now I am on a low-carb diet (kind of a modified Atkins) since it is the only thing that works on my blood sugar (which I take 5-7 times per day). I have been doing pretty good and lost 15.5 pounds in the last month. I am a pound away from my graph being correct. I think I will just leave it as it is... I don't know, maybe I will change it later.
A lot of things have cleared up for me with this new way of eating. Carbs and sugar have been a real drug for me for some time. I feel like I have finally stopped "drinking the koolaid" of the ridiculous food pyramid! I have more energy than I have had in years, my head is clear, my mood still goes up and down but I am working on that. We are getting the money together to pay the yearly fee at the YMCA and will join soon. My sons want to do martial arts really badly and I want the child care they provide so I can take the baby there while I work out!!!
The weight is just kind of melting off right now, but I know if I don't start working out I will 1) slow down on weight loss soon, and 2) have just a bunch of flabby skin without building any muscle underneath it to compensate for it a little.
Not doing a food log. I may post my daily carbs though. Stay tuned...if any of you are still with me :)
Two
I had the accident and the recovery (mostly done) but it took a lot out of me. I also gained weight (went up to 270!). Then, about a month ago I found out I have PreDiabetes. So, now I am on a low-carb diet (kind of a modified Atkins) since it is the only thing that works on my blood sugar (which I take 5-7 times per day). I have been doing pretty good and lost 15.5 pounds in the last month. I am a pound away from my graph being correct. I think I will just leave it as it is... I don't know, maybe I will change it later.
A lot of things have cleared up for me with this new way of eating. Carbs and sugar have been a real drug for me for some time. I feel like I have finally stopped "drinking the koolaid" of the ridiculous food pyramid! I have more energy than I have had in years, my head is clear, my mood still goes up and down but I am working on that. We are getting the money together to pay the yearly fee at the YMCA and will join soon. My sons want to do martial arts really badly and I want the child care they provide so I can take the baby there while I work out!!!
The weight is just kind of melting off right now, but I know if I don't start working out I will 1) slow down on weight loss soon, and 2) have just a bunch of flabby skin without building any muscle underneath it to compensate for it a little.
Not doing a food log. I may post my daily carbs though. Stay tuned...if any of you are still with me :)
Two
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
feeling a little better
Well, I stopped taking a certain medication and lost about 4# already this week! I am eating better and keeping VERY busy. Trying to keep my hands busy and eat only when I am hungry. So far so good. No specific diet, just trying to eat healthy and mindfully.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Slow loss but still losing....
So, since the accident, I have not been able to workout. And, apparently, I can only handle one thing at a time, because with all the running around to doctors, etc, I have not done one food log. I am trying to keep eating similar to before, but know I am not staying under 1800 calories. However, in the last two weeks I did lose a pound. That is pretty good for not working out (and not drinking water like I should).
Of course the baby has picked this time to start standing and crawling....but it is adorable! :) The kids are all keeping me busy. I am trying not to lift or overdo things - which is pretty hard with the life I have been living. Just because I am injured in the accident doesn't mean all these things don't need to get done! Totally slacked off on housework (something I couldn't afford to do with the shape of the house before!). Also, due to the drowsiness from pain meds, I have slept or laid down when tired rather than continuing to go go go. And, I have found I eat less when I do that. I know that I eat when I am tired & run-down. Quick energy foods (carbs, sugar, etc). But, if I just rest (like my body is telling me to) then I don't eat as much....though that is often easier said than done!
My car is STILL not fixed. Dealing with insurance companies, attorneys, and all sorts of crap. I am starting to get over the resentment of the accident and getting to a place of acceptance. I am in pain less with treatment, but still in pain. Have a great chiropractor and massage therapist. My husband has been great & does all he can, but he also works about 60 hours a week and isn't home a lot (though he did take a week off work right afterward to help me and drive me around).
So, I need to start posting here more, again. I got my laptop back online and have it set up in the living room....so I have no excuse now!!
Best,
Two
Of course the baby has picked this time to start standing and crawling....but it is adorable! :) The kids are all keeping me busy. I am trying not to lift or overdo things - which is pretty hard with the life I have been living. Just because I am injured in the accident doesn't mean all these things don't need to get done! Totally slacked off on housework (something I couldn't afford to do with the shape of the house before!). Also, due to the drowsiness from pain meds, I have slept or laid down when tired rather than continuing to go go go. And, I have found I eat less when I do that. I know that I eat when I am tired & run-down. Quick energy foods (carbs, sugar, etc). But, if I just rest (like my body is telling me to) then I don't eat as much....though that is often easier said than done!
My car is STILL not fixed. Dealing with insurance companies, attorneys, and all sorts of crap. I am starting to get over the resentment of the accident and getting to a place of acceptance. I am in pain less with treatment, but still in pain. Have a great chiropractor and massage therapist. My husband has been great & does all he can, but he also works about 60 hours a week and isn't home a lot (though he did take a week off work right afterward to help me and drive me around).
So, I need to start posting here more, again. I got my laptop back online and have it set up in the living room....so I have no excuse now!!
Best,
Two
Monday, February 1, 2010
****WEIGH-IN WEEK THREE****
Starting weight: 260
last week: 253
today: 251 (originally I reported 252, but that was @ 4:30 this am - the baby woke up WAY early) Then, I went back to bed & woke up at the normal time & weighed myself again and it was 251....so I will take that, I think!)
Result: -2#
Total loss: -9#
Total to go: 121#
YAY!
last week: 253
today: 251 (originally I reported 252, but that was @ 4:30 this am - the baby woke up WAY early) Then, I went back to bed & woke up at the normal time & weighed myself again and it was 251....so I will take that, I think!)
Result: -2#
Total loss: -9#
Total to go: 121#
YAY!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Day 19 - The Pants FIT!!! Yay! & Goals (short & long term)
My day (Friday 1/29/10) -
It has been an OK day. Kind of busy & stressful. But, my husband came home from work early today, so that helped. I even got a nap this afternoon!
Today I wore a pair of pants that a couple weeks ago would have smothered me all day. But they fit perfect! My clothes are definitely starting to get looser! I need it too because I was really out of control over the holidays and barely had anything that fit before. After the holidays I really didn't have ANYTHING to wear except a couple pairs of sweats and one pair of HUGE jeans. Even my T-shirts didn't fit any longer. So, I was happy about that today! Makes me want to work even harder for the goal of getting back into the 10 or 12 pairs of size 18 jeans I have!
So, I am really trying to look toward my goals (short term as well as long term). Every time I go into the bathroom - which is a lot with all this water - I tell myself: "stay off the scale!" So far, so good. Here is a great article on The Importance of Setting Medium-Term Goals from the SparkPeople. It is important for me...because if I just look at that big, end goal, it becomes too overwhelming and far away to stay motivated.
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!
Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-KFC grill chx meal, partial (480 est)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1875
700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)
workout:
traveling all day. No w/o
Water:
50 oz
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Since I have to travel once a week to another town down south, I often do shopping there I cannot do at home. For instance, we have no Trader Joes in my town!!! So, I sometimes stop there & stock up on stuff. I did not today, fortunately. At Trader Joes they have one of my favorite binge foods. They have these almond chocolate cluster things that are just HEAVEN! I will often buy two boxes and eat one whole one on the way home! Then eat the other partially that night and the rest the next morning. Bad, bad, bad! I decided to do other shopping and maybe not go to Trader Joes until I am on my new eating plan for a while! :-)
Until tomorrow,
Two
It has been an OK day. Kind of busy & stressful. But, my husband came home from work early today, so that helped. I even got a nap this afternoon!
Today I wore a pair of pants that a couple weeks ago would have smothered me all day. But they fit perfect! My clothes are definitely starting to get looser! I need it too because I was really out of control over the holidays and barely had anything that fit before. After the holidays I really didn't have ANYTHING to wear except a couple pairs of sweats and one pair of HUGE jeans. Even my T-shirts didn't fit any longer. So, I was happy about that today! Makes me want to work even harder for the goal of getting back into the 10 or 12 pairs of size 18 jeans I have!
So, I am really trying to look toward my goals (short term as well as long term). Every time I go into the bathroom - which is a lot with all this water - I tell myself: "stay off the scale!" So far, so good. Here is a great article on The Importance of Setting Medium-Term Goals from the SparkPeople. It is important for me...because if I just look at that big, end goal, it becomes too overwhelming and far away to stay motivated.
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1
**NEW** Mini Goal: STAY OFF THE SCALE UNTIL WEIGH-IN DAY!
Mini Goal: take my thyroid meds more regularly!
Food:
-bowl of HN cheerios cereal & milk (275)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-KFC grill chx meal, partial (480 est)
-crackers, LC cheese, tomato (100)
-nutrigrain bar (135)
-RK treat (90)
-Full bites (150)
-big salad with light dressing & almonds (140)
-LC meal (220)
-skinny cow ice cream (150)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...1875
Daily Calorie Requirements: 2,579
500 calorie deficit: 2079700 calorie deficit: 1879 (means "goal" ~10 months sooner!)
workout:
traveling all day. No w/o
Water:
50 oz
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Since I have to travel once a week to another town down south, I often do shopping there I cannot do at home. For instance, we have no Trader Joes in my town!!! So, I sometimes stop there & stock up on stuff. I did not today, fortunately. At Trader Joes they have one of my favorite binge foods. They have these almond chocolate cluster things that are just HEAVEN! I will often buy two boxes and eat one whole one on the way home! Then eat the other partially that night and the rest the next morning. Bad, bad, bad! I decided to do other shopping and maybe not go to Trader Joes until I am on my new eating plan for a while! :-)
Until tomorrow,
Two
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
day ten
OK, here is my day (Wednesday 1/20/10) -
I had a realization today: I DON'T have to give into every craving I have! Believe it or not, that is a revelation for me. I have been having really tough sweet craving. The salty/crunchy cravings I can deal with with some of the low cal stuff I have gotten. The sweet, that is another story. So, I started buying gums & mints to see what might help as a distraction from that.
What seems to help me the most are these mints called: Ice Breakers Sours
For some reason, one (yeah, one!) of these can distract me from the sweet craving until it passes. One piece is less than 5 cal and there are about 50 pieces in one pack.
Also, got up early this morning and was hungry...so, instead of the whole bowl of cereal, I ended up eating ONE rice krispie treat (only 90 cal). Satisfied the need for carbs/sugar & was able to stop with that.
So, two new products I will keep on hand.
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (290)
-melba toast & LC cheese (85)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-ham (70)
-LC cheese (35)
-NF pudding (60)
-wheat thins "chips" (180)
-puff corn (180)
-lg orange (86)
-spec K cereal (240)
-Lean Cuisine meal (320)
-big salad (180)
-LF popcorn (150)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...2037
workout:
1:15pm SO>...now the question is (now that the baby is finally asleep & everyone is out of the house): Do I nap, or workout!?? I know I should workout...I could really use time to lay down as well. Maybe a workout, then a nap? :)
Later: worked out for a little bit on the elliptical and did some crunches but the baby woke up & I didn't get as much done as I should....never got a nap either!
Water:
If I don't start filling this out soon, you are going to start doubting my commitment to my goals. So, I need to get busy in this area!!!
Vitamin water (20oz)
Working on this right now
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
none for today...no time. gotta get to bed!
until tomorrow,
Two
I had a realization today: I DON'T have to give into every craving I have! Believe it or not, that is a revelation for me. I have been having really tough sweet craving. The salty/crunchy cravings I can deal with with some of the low cal stuff I have gotten. The sweet, that is another story. So, I started buying gums & mints to see what might help as a distraction from that.
What seems to help me the most are these mints called: Ice Breakers Sours
For some reason, one (yeah, one!) of these can distract me from the sweet craving until it passes. One piece is less than 5 cal and there are about 50 pieces in one pack.
Also, got up early this morning and was hungry...so, instead of the whole bowl of cereal, I ended up eating ONE rice krispie treat (only 90 cal). Satisfied the need for carbs/sugar & was able to stop with that.
So, two new products I will keep on hand.
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of cereal & milk (290)
-melba toast & LC cheese (85)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-ham (70)
-LC cheese (35)
-NF pudding (60)
-wheat thins "chips" (180)
-puff corn (180)
-lg orange (86)
-spec K cereal (240)
-Lean Cuisine meal (320)
-big salad (180)
-LF popcorn (150)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:...2037
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
1:15pm SO>...now the question is (now that the baby is finally asleep & everyone is out of the house): Do I nap, or workout!?? I know I should workout...I could really use time to lay down as well. Maybe a workout, then a nap? :)
Later: worked out for a little bit on the elliptical and did some crunches but the baby woke up & I didn't get as much done as I should....never got a nap either!
Water:
If I don't start filling this out soon, you are going to start doubting my commitment to my goals. So, I need to get busy in this area!!!
Vitamin water (20oz)
Working on this right now
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
none for today...no time. gotta get to bed!
until tomorrow,
Two
Monday, January 18, 2010
Day eight
OK, here is my day (Monday 1/18/10) - So, one thing I think I need to do is break this snacking habit. Right now, I have just changed to low-cal snacks, but I am still grazing. I don't think it is good because I am going to get tired of those low cal snacks pretty soon!
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-~1T butter (100) OUCH!
-LC cantelloni (240)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-wheat thin flatbread w/laughing cow cheese (190)
-mini rice cakes (140)
-CK cereal (260) ---need to get some more oranges at least so I stop this late afternoon snack. This is getting me back into old habits.
-Lean Cuisine meal (320)
-fudgescicles (80)
-melba toast (75)
-other snacks (290)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...2185
UPDATE: A little over today...having a slight problem with insomnia tonight. Hopefully, cals will stay where they are. Going to do my best to get a workout in the AM. Most of the kids will be in school, and I should be able to.
workout:
worked up quite a sweat doing housework for several hours this morning...then I crashed and had lots of pain. I didn't want to risk a full-on flare, so no machine today.
Water:
vitamin water
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
OK, here is a good one! Couldn't sleep again tonight until 1:30am. I was so desperate for something sweet to eat that I ate the VERY stale candy corn I found on top of the fridge. Have you ever eaten stale candy corn? I am lucky they didn't break my teeth. With all that I ate tonight (candy corn and a butter "sandwich"), I probably need to add 500 calories to my daily total.
But, here is a story of a women who lost 132#
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4924602&page=1
until tomorrow,
Two
Ultimate goal: HALF MY SIZE BY Sept 2012
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-~1T butter (100) OUCH!
-LC cantelloni (240)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-wheat thin flatbread w/laughing cow cheese (190)
-mini rice cakes (140)
-CK cereal (260) ---need to get some more oranges at least so I stop this late afternoon snack. This is getting me back into old habits.
-Lean Cuisine meal (320)
-fudgescicles (80)
-melba toast (75)
-other snacks (290)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...2185
UPDATE: A little over today...having a slight problem with insomnia tonight. Hopefully, cals will stay where they are. Going to do my best to get a workout in the AM. Most of the kids will be in school, and I should be able to.
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
worked up quite a sweat doing housework for several hours this morning...then I crashed and had lots of pain. I didn't want to risk a full-on flare, so no machine today.
Water:
vitamin water
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
OK, here is a good one! Couldn't sleep again tonight until 1:30am. I was so desperate for something sweet to eat that I ate the VERY stale candy corn I found on top of the fridge. Have you ever eaten stale candy corn? I am lucky they didn't break my teeth. With all that I ate tonight (candy corn and a butter "sandwich"), I probably need to add 500 calories to my daily total.
But, here is a story of a women who lost 132#
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4924602&page=1
until tomorrow,
Two
****WEIGH-IN WEEK ONE****
last week: 260
today: 256.5
Result: -3.5#
YA!!!!!
Not the most dramatic first week I have had on a "diet" but pretty good considering I am picking my own food and for the first half of the week I was above my calorie limits.
today: 256.5
Result: -3.5#
YA!!!!!
Not the most dramatic first week I have had on a "diet" but pretty good considering I am picking my own food and for the first half of the week I was above my calorie limits.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Day seven...one whole week!
OK, here is my day (Sunday 1/17/10) - Two issues have come up since my last posting that I realize are barriers in losing weight:
1) Insomnia: comes with the fybromyalgia territory. But when I am up like I was last night (until 4:30 am) I end up eating. I didn't really have a full-on binge...mostly things like rice cakes, LF crackers, one pc of candy....I can't remember all of it. I had taken some lunesta (and then some more) so, it is a bit fuzzy. But I do remember thinking: "well, I am going over my cal limit for the day, but it is not too bad to do it with 20 mini rice cakes and some melba toast"
2) Irritability (more aptly: MAJOR bitchiness!). One of the reasons I think that some of us eat too many simple carbs is (DUH!) it makes us feel good! Meaning that maybe we didn't feel so good in the first place. There has been some suggestion that low carb diets lead to depression (see this article for an example). Now, I am NOT on a low carb diet, but cutting my calories means cutting my carb consumption drastically.
However, I have also struggled with depression most of my life; and whenever I diet, it is worse - whether I am on meds or not. Sure, we all get a little grumpy when we can't have what we want. But I am talking about being so irritable that I am afraid I might attack someone who looks at me wrong in the grocery store!
There are ups and downs. But the past few days have been rough. I am on celexa, but have added some 5HTP supplements to my routine. Hopefully, that will help a little. I guess the point is that fat, and weight loss are complex issues. Those of us going through it know it is much more than about will power. Hell, you want to see someone who needs will power? Try running into friends who, the last time they saw you, you weight 100# less than you do now. Takes all my will power to not say "oh, I am sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else"!
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-snack of crackers, laughing cow cheese, and veggies (195)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-ham (70)
-melba rounds (50)
-LC cheese (35)
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-fudgescicle (40)
-FF tapioca (80)
-rice cakes (100)
-Coc Krispie cereal and milk (270)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1800
workout:
heavy housework
Water:
none
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Here's a good one...did not have a great childhood, and food was a huge, dysfunctional issue in my family. When I was tween, I used to have to walk past a grocery store on the way home. A few of us girls would go in there every day and pack our backpacks with candy bars, cookies, and other fattening snacks, and I mean pack them!
We weren't able to pay for these, so part of the thrill was doing something wrong. Then we would meet outside the store and gorge ourselves on the stuff before we went home. I remember that so vividly, and remember that I used to eat SO MUCH of that crap. Probably more than the other girls. I didn't think about my weight. I was NOT fat, but I already thought I was, so I had already given up.
until tomorrow,
Two
1) Insomnia: comes with the fybromyalgia territory. But when I am up like I was last night (until 4:30 am) I end up eating. I didn't really have a full-on binge...mostly things like rice cakes, LF crackers, one pc of candy....I can't remember all of it. I had taken some lunesta (and then some more) so, it is a bit fuzzy. But I do remember thinking: "well, I am going over my cal limit for the day, but it is not too bad to do it with 20 mini rice cakes and some melba toast"
2) Irritability (more aptly: MAJOR bitchiness!). One of the reasons I think that some of us eat too many simple carbs is (DUH!) it makes us feel good! Meaning that maybe we didn't feel so good in the first place. There has been some suggestion that low carb diets lead to depression (see this article for an example). Now, I am NOT on a low carb diet, but cutting my calories means cutting my carb consumption drastically.
However, I have also struggled with depression most of my life; and whenever I diet, it is worse - whether I am on meds or not. Sure, we all get a little grumpy when we can't have what we want. But I am talking about being so irritable that I am afraid I might attack someone who looks at me wrong in the grocery store!
There are ups and downs. But the past few days have been rough. I am on celexa, but have added some 5HTP supplements to my routine. Hopefully, that will help a little. I guess the point is that fat, and weight loss are complex issues. Those of us going through it know it is much more than about will power. Hell, you want to see someone who needs will power? Try running into friends who, the last time they saw you, you weight 100# less than you do now. Takes all my will power to not say "oh, I am sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else"!
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-snack of crackers, laughing cow cheese, and veggies (195)
-honey wheat berry bread (160)
-ham (70)
-melba rounds (50)
-LC cheese (35)
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-fudgescicle (40)
-FF tapioca (80)
-rice cakes (100)
-Coc Krispie cereal and milk (270)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1800
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
heavy housework
Water:
none
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Here's a good one...did not have a great childhood, and food was a huge, dysfunctional issue in my family. When I was tween, I used to have to walk past a grocery store on the way home. A few of us girls would go in there every day and pack our backpacks with candy bars, cookies, and other fattening snacks, and I mean pack them!
We weren't able to pay for these, so part of the thrill was doing something wrong. Then we would meet outside the store and gorge ourselves on the stuff before we went home. I remember that so vividly, and remember that I used to eat SO MUCH of that crap. Probably more than the other girls. I didn't think about my weight. I was NOT fat, but I already thought I was, so I had already given up.
until tomorrow,
Two
Saturday, January 16, 2010
day six
OK, here is my day (Saturday 1/16/10) - NO middle of the night eating last night! No Salad today. I still might get one in tonight. But, kind of nice to take a break from it one day. Didn't have too much of an appetite today (fighting off a cold). Also didn't work out. Did some shopping, some housework, but certainly nothing aerobic! However, good news: My husband fixed my elliptical machine...no more squeaks!!! Yay!
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-half sandwich from store deli (est 300)
-2 rice krispie treat (180)
-YUMMY Taco Soup recipe from a friend (est 650)
-serving of cheese "puff corn" (180)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1910 (pretty good!)
workout:
none
Water:
none
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
OK, here is a hard one...and a TMI one too: When I stand up straight, I can feel the rolls of fat on my back touching each other!
Kind of like this ---->
But worse! I hate it. This is something new, in the past year or so that I have experienced. It is a constant reminder!
ICK!!!!!
until tomorrow,
Two
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-half sandwich from store deli (est 300)
-2 rice krispie treat (180)
-YUMMY Taco Soup recipe from a friend (est 650)
-serving of cheese "puff corn" (180)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...1910 (pretty good!)
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
none
Water:
none
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
OK, here is a hard one...and a TMI one too: When I stand up straight, I can feel the rolls of fat on my back touching each other!
Kind of like this ---->
But worse! I hate it. This is something new, in the past year or so that I have experienced. It is a constant reminder!
ICK!!!!!
until tomorrow,
Two
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day five
OK, here is my day (Friday 1/15/10) - NO middle of the night eating last night! However, today was tough. One of my weakest times is when I am tired & haven't had enough sleep. I tend to eat to make up for feeling like I can't get the rest I need. I guess it makes sense, in a way (taking care of myself by feeding myself when I can't rest when I need to) but I need LOTS of sleep, and most often can't get it with the baby and the other kids. So, there ends up being lots of those times and I get fat. Mostly, because during those times all I want are simple carbs (when I probably should be eating protein). So, that is why there is that big, caloric bagel in the middle of my day!
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-nutrigrain bar (140)
-KFC grilled 2 pc meal (w/ biscuit :-/ ) (585)
-large bagel (364!!!)
-big salad w/ regular dressing, little wonton crisps & almonds (abt 350)
-lg orange (86)
-melba toast (100)
-Frosted Flakes (160)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-4 tator tots (75)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...2190 ( I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Even with all that "grazing" and snacking, I didn't do that bad)
workout:
None, as I expected. I was just too beat from the drive and visit today. Fibromyalgia just sucks!
Water:
Again, none. It doesn't seem like I am working on this very well, does it?
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Can't think of anything to write here tonight. Will do better tomorrow :-)
until tomorrow,
Two
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk (240)
-nutrigrain bar (140)
-KFC grilled 2 pc meal (w/ biscuit :-/ ) (585)
-large bagel (364!!!)
-big salad w/ regular dressing, little wonton crisps & almonds (abt 350)
-lg orange (86)
-melba toast (100)
-Frosted Flakes (160)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-4 tator tots (75)
total diet cokes today: 3
Calories:...2190 ( I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Even with all that "grazing" and snacking, I didn't do that bad)
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
None, as I expected. I was just too beat from the drive and visit today. Fibromyalgia just sucks!
Water:
Again, none. It doesn't seem like I am working on this very well, does it?
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Can't think of anything to write here tonight. Will do better tomorrow :-)
until tomorrow,
Two
Thursday, January 14, 2010
day four
OK, here is my day (Thursday 1/14/10) - NO middle of the night eating last night! However, I woke up tired and sore! I am determined, however, to work out this afternoon while the baby sleeps (now getting the baby to sleep might be the harder part of that!). Someone put the camera somewhere and I can't find it, so I have yet to take "before" pictures.
Later: OK, I found the camera. I promise to get some pictures soon! It has been a tough day for me, just all around. Nothing in particular. But, I have managed to do OK.
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk 240
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-KFC grilled 2 pc meal (no biscuit) (490) - which was YUMMY!
-lg orange (86)
-1 serving of wheat thins "chips" (120)
-sm fudgescicle (40)
-bowl of cereal & milk (250) - this was a cheat, a comfort eating thing :(
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-Melba Rounds (Whole Grain Sea Salt) (75) tastes pretty good.
total diet cokes today: 4! oops!
Calories:...2131 (closer every day!)
workout:
Over 16 minutes! yeah! - I really need to figure out how to make that damn machine stop squeaking though! ARG!
Water:
none! The more diet coke I drink, the less water...hmmm
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
One of my favorite cheats was to stop by a bakery in the area and get a HUGE piece of poppy seed/marion berry cake (with SINFUL icing) and eat the whole thing on my way home & hide the container deep in the outside trash. Wow, talk about secretive eating!!!
Tomorrow is Friday, and on Fridays I have to drive down south for a while, and usually see my eldest daughter (again, a stressor that usually triggers eating with me). Not sure if I can work out tomorrow or not. I am going to have to get over not being able to work out when my family is home since it is a three day weekend though!
until tomorrow,
Two
Later: OK, I found the camera. I promise to get some pictures soon! It has been a tough day for me, just all around. Nothing in particular. But, I have managed to do OK.
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk 240
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-KFC grilled 2 pc meal (no biscuit) (490) - which was YUMMY!
-lg orange (86)
-1 serving of wheat thins "chips" (120)
-sm fudgescicle (40)
-bowl of cereal & milk (250) - this was a cheat, a comfort eating thing :(
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-Melba Rounds (Whole Grain Sea Salt) (75) tastes pretty good.
total diet cokes today: 4! oops!
Calories:...2131 (closer every day!)
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
If I eat 500 calories less is than that, it is: 2079...
Which is what I need to try for each day.
Which is what I need to try for each day.
workout:
Over 16 minutes! yeah! - I really need to figure out how to make that damn machine stop squeaking though! ARG!
Water:
none! The more diet coke I drink, the less water...hmmm
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
One of my favorite cheats was to stop by a bakery in the area and get a HUGE piece of poppy seed/marion berry cake (with SINFUL icing) and eat the whole thing on my way home & hide the container deep in the outside trash. Wow, talk about secretive eating!!!
Tomorrow is Friday, and on Fridays I have to drive down south for a while, and usually see my eldest daughter (again, a stressor that usually triggers eating with me). Not sure if I can work out tomorrow or not. I am going to have to get over not being able to work out when my family is home since it is a three day weekend though!
until tomorrow,
Two
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Day three
OK, here is my day (Wednesday 1/13/10) - NO middle of the night eating last night! I did end up eating 3 crackers to settle my stomach before I went to bed, but didn't eat anything after that. hooray! I have also been really good at not weighing myself. I usually cheat on that one, but I will wait until Monday morning. Promise!
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk 240
-snapple dragonfruit vitamin water (130 cal)
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-2 eggs & 1 1/2 pces of Daves Killer Bread* (plain) (200 + 156)
-FF Tapioca (80)
-Banana (105)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-Special K Cereal w/ milk (350)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:....2311 - closer than yesterday!!!
*I know that this bread is high in calories and I could probably find some much lower....but it is full of great stuff, high in both fiber & protein...so I thought it was a good trade off.
workout:
Well, the camera wasn't handy today, but I did 13 minutes! I actually got into triple digit calorie-burning territory! I added some music today and (I think) I have got my crappy machine to stop squeaking for a bit. Pity because it is almost new...but you get what you pay for in those home machines!
Water:
I am drinking a big glass as I write! But that is about it for the day.
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Diet Coke addiction: This has been going on since I was 17 or 18. First thing in the morning, I crack open a diet coke. I CRAVE the taste of it. I can drink a 6pack a day, easily. I know it is just terrible for me, but have never been able to stop for any length of time. But when I have, I am always lost weight!
until tomorrow,
Two
Working goal: to fit back into those size 18 pants by May 1............
Mini Goal: more water!
Food:
-bowl of Life cereal & milk 240
-snapple dragonfruit vitamin water (130 cal)
-Daves Killer bread, (2) toasted w/cream cheese (260+100)
-2 eggs & 1 1/2 pces of Daves Killer Bread* (plain) (200 + 156)
-FF Tapioca (80)
-Banana (105)
-Luna Cookie (130)
-big salad w/ light dressing & almonds (abt 150)
-lean cuisine sesame chicken (320)
-rice krispie treat (90)
-Special K Cereal w/ milk (350)
total diet cokes today: 2
Calories:....2311 - closer than yesterday!!!
*I know that this bread is high in calories and I could probably find some much lower....but it is full of great stuff, high in both fiber & protein...so I thought it was a good trade off.
Your Daily Calorie Requirements Are: 2,579 Calories Per Day
500 calories less is: 2079...what I need to shoot for each day.
workout:
Well, the camera wasn't handy today, but I did 13 minutes! I actually got into triple digit calorie-burning territory! I added some music today and (I think) I have got my crappy machine to stop squeaking for a bit. Pity because it is almost new...but you get what you pay for in those home machines!
Water:
I am drinking a big glass as I write! But that is about it for the day.
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
Diet Coke addiction: This has been going on since I was 17 or 18. First thing in the morning, I crack open a diet coke. I CRAVE the taste of it. I can drink a 6pack a day, easily. I know it is just terrible for me, but have never been able to stop for any length of time. But when I have, I am always lost weight!
until tomorrow,
Two
Monday, January 11, 2010
Day one
OK, here is my day (monday 1/11/10)...and I am going to try to publish some pics in either this post or the next.
weight 260#
I guess I should do some measurements soon!
Food:
-TWO diet cokes before 10 (ugh!)
-1c grape nuts w/ 2t sugar & 1/2 c milk
-1 lg bagel with 2T LF strawberry CC (I am really hungry between bfst & lunch...I usually eat a large snack around 10)
-FF tapioca pudding
-15 cheddar mini rices cakes
-lg orange
-UGH, another diet coke!
-nutrigrain bar, strawberry (I have started keeping these in the car so I eat them when I am hungry rather than a drive-thru burger)
-big salad with light dressing & slivered almonds
-lean cuisine (sesame chicken)
WOW, that seems like a lot (and it is less than I probably normally eat). I haven't started counting calories yet - one step at a time - but I wonder how many calories it is?!
UPDATE: about 8pm: cravings are getting really bad. I could totally eat a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies (home baked, of course). Had a visit with my eldest daughter today and that is always stressful & makes me want to eat! But so far I have not!
UPDATE: 9:30pm...ok, let's add yet another diet coke and a couple more handfuls of rice cakes. I guess the day has been OK, but not perfect.
workout:
OK, proud of myself today because 1) I did NOT take a nap, but jumped on the elliptical machine. And, while it might not seem like much time to most people, I worked out the longest I have been able to since I got the thing a couple mos ago...And, I almost got all the way around the "circle."
I have to try really hard to not compare what I can do now to what I used to be able to do for a workout. Because I used to workout a lot. I did circuit training for 30 min and treadmill or elliptical machine for about 45 min. So 10 minutes seems like nothing compared to that. But it is a lot more than I have been able to do recently. So, it's a start!
....well, actually, I did end up taking a nap. But that was after I worked out. Post exercise fatigue is part of fibromyalgia. and I had it today.
Water:
well, none, unless you count a bottle of 10 cal vitamin water.
This is an area I need to work on!
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I have been hiding food for a while so my husband did not see I was eating whole boxes of twinkies or whole packages of oreos. I would hide them in my car or in the garage.
weight 260#
I guess I should do some measurements soon!
Food:
-TWO diet cokes before 10 (ugh!)
-1c grape nuts w/ 2t sugar & 1/2 c milk
-1 lg bagel with 2T LF strawberry CC (I am really hungry between bfst & lunch...I usually eat a large snack around 10)
-FF tapioca pudding
-15 cheddar mini rices cakes
-lg orange
-UGH, another diet coke!
-nutrigrain bar, strawberry (I have started keeping these in the car so I eat them when I am hungry rather than a drive-thru burger)
-big salad with light dressing & slivered almonds
-lean cuisine (sesame chicken)
WOW, that seems like a lot (and it is less than I probably normally eat). I haven't started counting calories yet - one step at a time - but I wonder how many calories it is?!
UPDATE: about 8pm: cravings are getting really bad. I could totally eat a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies (home baked, of course). Had a visit with my eldest daughter today and that is always stressful & makes me want to eat! But so far I have not!
UPDATE: 9:30pm...ok, let's add yet another diet coke and a couple more handfuls of rice cakes. I guess the day has been OK, but not perfect.
workout:
OK, proud of myself today because 1) I did NOT take a nap, but jumped on the elliptical machine. And, while it might not seem like much time to most people, I worked out the longest I have been able to since I got the thing a couple mos ago...And, I almost got all the way around the "circle."
I have to try really hard to not compare what I can do now to what I used to be able to do for a workout. Because I used to workout a lot. I did circuit training for 30 min and treadmill or elliptical machine for about 45 min. So 10 minutes seems like nothing compared to that. But it is a lot more than I have been able to do recently. So, it's a start!
....well, actually, I did end up taking a nap. But that was after I worked out. Post exercise fatigue is part of fibromyalgia. and I had it today.
Water:
well, none, unless you count a bottle of 10 cal vitamin water.
This is an area I need to work on!
Confession of the day: (good for the soul, no?)
I have been hiding food for a while so my husband did not see I was eating whole boxes of twinkies or whole packages of oreos. I would hide them in my car or in the garage.
The First Post...
OK, so I started this anonymous blog so I could address all these food & weight issues that are so shameful, and maybe be rid of them!
I am 46 years old, I weight 260#, and I am addicted to food. It is my entertainment, it is my therapist, and sometimes my only companion. Diets and me DO NOT mix. I have been on more than I can count. My insurance company has told me they will not cover a gastric bypass, under any circumstances. And, if I had $10,000, I would use it to pay off bills and fix up the house. I could never afford to pay for that on my own.
So, let's see...food is a big problem in my family (both sides). All the women are either terribly overweight or serious compulsive dieters. I always thought I was fat as a kid. Now I look at pictures now & think I was thin as a rail...but I always seemed to wear a larger size than my friends. I ended up with the Italian build that is part of my heritage. So, I always had hips and a but. But, I mostly hated my thighs (still do!). Until my last couple (huge) babies, I did have a flat stomach most of my life. Now it is so big I look pregnant all the time.
I never really liked exercise. I had this exercise induced asthma (which, I guess is a way of saying you are just out of shape), and I could not breathe during aerobic activity, even when I was young and "thin." For a short time in my 30s I really started to get into exercise. I was running and I loved it. I got down to a size 8! But family stressors got in the way of me taking that time for myself to exercise and it just went downhill from there.
There is a post I wrote a few years ago on another blog that might explain a little as to how I got here. It is kind of angry, but that is how I was feeling then:
Fat
Yeah, I'm fat…
You see me and that is what you think, right?
So, how fat am I?
Not really fat on the scale (HA) of fat
About 200 (OK, 210).
A size 18; give or take.
But to most people that is F-A-T, fat!
So, all you see when you see me is my fat face, my fat thighs, my fat ass…
And my lack of self-control
Which is what got me here, right?
Well, maybe that is part of it.
I will admit.
But, there is a lot you don't know about me.
But I don't ever have a chance to tell you how I got here, or make you listen to the story.
I don't get to tell you that I have five kids (no, I am not a "welfare mom").
I can't tell you that the last baby weighed over 11 pounds!
…but you'd probably say that was my fault.
OK.
Do you know that I had 5 abdominal surgeries in the span of 4 years?
Did you know I went through 4 pregnancies in the same period of time?
And two of those were losses?
Do you know that I have suffered from bouts of major depression most of my life?
And did you know that most anti-depressants cause major weight gain?
…something drug companies don't really like to make public.
Did you know that I spend most of my time caring for two very young disabled children?
You live my life and try staying a freaking size 6!
If it makes you feel any better, I used to be thin…
There was a time
In my 20s
That I had bulimia.
I was never "skinny"
Oh, but I was NOT fat!
I hated my body then, so much.
I still do.
But now I have a reason to.
So don't worry
I hate my body a thousand times more than you ever could.
-------------------------
Since I wrote that post I gained 50#. I WISH I could get into those 18s! My pants are 20s or 22s my shirts are at least 3X...4X if they are cotton (e.g., prone to shrinking).
I have a serious Diet Coke addiction. And, it does not help with weight loss. I love white cake, white bread, bagels, rolls, white rice, baked potatoes with sour cream...anything white, starchy, and with lots of carbs! I tried a low-carb diet once for a few weeks. I was miserable and in pain (ketosis was doing a number on my kidneys). The Dr told me to not go on those kind of diets. Thank goodness!
I liked Susan Powter's eating plan, and was on that for a while...but she has changed it quite a bit now. I lost LOTS of weight on the 6 Week Body Makeover Diet...I gained: gallstones, hair loss, and eventually, all the weight back! I have tried Jenny Craig (yuck), Weight Watchers (OY! points!), and a bunch of other fad diets.
OK, that is just a few of the diets. Why do I need to lose weight? Contrary to popular belief about fat people: my blood work is fine. My cholesterol is SO low (LDL is 76) that I think my Dr thinks I have someone else do my blood work. My BP is consistently low (90/60 range), and my glucose has never been elevated other than during my last pregnancy.
However, I have LOTS of health problems aggravated by weight: the biggy is fibromyalgia (sometimes crippling fatigue and pain). I have terrible GERD, stress incontinence (which is oh so fun), hypothyroidism, and insomnia. Lots of joint problems, especially in my knees and ankles. My Achilles are just shot.
I know that these will improve, if not disappear altogether, if I lose weight. I am tired of not being able to keep up with my kids or not having any clothes (or only having the option of buying UGLY clothes!) My husband loves me, a lot, but I don't think he is attracted to me any longer. He is understanding since he has a weight problem of his own, but I know that I would be a better wife, mother, and just a happier person if I were not burdened by this weight.
So this is my "transparent," so-to-speak, place to come clean with all this. I will try my best to write in this blog everyday. Write what I eat, if I got on that damn ellipitcal machine and worked out or not, whether I binged and why. I plan on really posting my feelings and the reality of fat and weight loss, so don't be surprised by it. Also, I curse. Just a warning. If you are really offended by it, I will warn you right now, I will curse some.
Hopefully, someone will join me in this journey, if not...this is just an online journal, I guess.
I am 46 years old, I weight 260#, and I am addicted to food. It is my entertainment, it is my therapist, and sometimes my only companion. Diets and me DO NOT mix. I have been on more than I can count. My insurance company has told me they will not cover a gastric bypass, under any circumstances. And, if I had $10,000, I would use it to pay off bills and fix up the house. I could never afford to pay for that on my own.
So, let's see...food is a big problem in my family (both sides). All the women are either terribly overweight or serious compulsive dieters. I always thought I was fat as a kid. Now I look at pictures now & think I was thin as a rail...but I always seemed to wear a larger size than my friends. I ended up with the Italian build that is part of my heritage. So, I always had hips and a but. But, I mostly hated my thighs (still do!). Until my last couple (huge) babies, I did have a flat stomach most of my life. Now it is so big I look pregnant all the time.
I never really liked exercise. I had this exercise induced asthma (which, I guess is a way of saying you are just out of shape), and I could not breathe during aerobic activity, even when I was young and "thin." For a short time in my 30s I really started to get into exercise. I was running and I loved it. I got down to a size 8! But family stressors got in the way of me taking that time for myself to exercise and it just went downhill from there.
There is a post I wrote a few years ago on another blog that might explain a little as to how I got here. It is kind of angry, but that is how I was feeling then:
Fat
Yeah, I'm fat…
You see me and that is what you think, right?
So, how fat am I?
Not really fat on the scale (HA) of fat
About 200 (OK, 210).
A size 18; give or take.
But to most people that is F-A-T, fat!
So, all you see when you see me is my fat face, my fat thighs, my fat ass…
And my lack of self-control
Which is what got me here, right?
Well, maybe that is part of it.
I will admit.
But, there is a lot you don't know about me.
But I don't ever have a chance to tell you how I got here, or make you listen to the story.
I don't get to tell you that I have five kids (no, I am not a "welfare mom").
I can't tell you that the last baby weighed over 11 pounds!
…but you'd probably say that was my fault.
OK.
Do you know that I had 5 abdominal surgeries in the span of 4 years?
Did you know I went through 4 pregnancies in the same period of time?
And two of those were losses?
Do you know that I have suffered from bouts of major depression most of my life?
And did you know that most anti-depressants cause major weight gain?
…something drug companies don't really like to make public.
Did you know that I spend most of my time caring for two very young disabled children?
You live my life and try staying a freaking size 6!
If it makes you feel any better, I used to be thin…
There was a time
In my 20s
That I had bulimia.
I was never "skinny"
Oh, but I was NOT fat!
I hated my body then, so much.
I still do.
But now I have a reason to.
So don't worry
I hate my body a thousand times more than you ever could.
-------------------------
Since I wrote that post I gained 50#. I WISH I could get into those 18s! My pants are 20s or 22s my shirts are at least 3X...4X if they are cotton (e.g., prone to shrinking).
I have a serious Diet Coke addiction. And, it does not help with weight loss. I love white cake, white bread, bagels, rolls, white rice, baked potatoes with sour cream...anything white, starchy, and with lots of carbs! I tried a low-carb diet once for a few weeks. I was miserable and in pain (ketosis was doing a number on my kidneys). The Dr told me to not go on those kind of diets. Thank goodness!
I liked Susan Powter's eating plan, and was on that for a while...but she has changed it quite a bit now. I lost LOTS of weight on the 6 Week Body Makeover Diet...I gained: gallstones, hair loss, and eventually, all the weight back! I have tried Jenny Craig (yuck), Weight Watchers (OY! points!), and a bunch of other fad diets.
OK, that is just a few of the diets. Why do I need to lose weight? Contrary to popular belief about fat people: my blood work is fine. My cholesterol is SO low (LDL is 76) that I think my Dr thinks I have someone else do my blood work. My BP is consistently low (90/60 range), and my glucose has never been elevated other than during my last pregnancy.
However, I have LOTS of health problems aggravated by weight: the biggy is fibromyalgia (sometimes crippling fatigue and pain). I have terrible GERD, stress incontinence (which is oh so fun), hypothyroidism, and insomnia. Lots of joint problems, especially in my knees and ankles. My Achilles are just shot.
I know that these will improve, if not disappear altogether, if I lose weight. I am tired of not being able to keep up with my kids or not having any clothes (or only having the option of buying UGLY clothes!) My husband loves me, a lot, but I don't think he is attracted to me any longer. He is understanding since he has a weight problem of his own, but I know that I would be a better wife, mother, and just a happier person if I were not burdened by this weight.
So this is my "transparent," so-to-speak, place to come clean with all this. I will try my best to write in this blog everyday. Write what I eat, if I got on that damn ellipitcal machine and worked out or not, whether I binged and why. I plan on really posting my feelings and the reality of fat and weight loss, so don't be surprised by it. Also, I curse. Just a warning. If you are really offended by it, I will warn you right now, I will curse some.
Hopefully, someone will join me in this journey, if not...this is just an online journal, I guess.
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